From the May 1999 magazine.

A Woman of Dignity

Three articles on finding a "sane and sound ideal" when it comes to sexual relations.

For me, drinking and negative sexual behavior went hand in hand, practically from the beginning. Early sexual abuse and drinking drove my sexual behavior. I was the queen of the one-night or three-month relationship. I didn't know that if I didn't pick up a drink, I wasn't likely to wind up in bed with someone I didn't know. I did much that I'm not proud of. I got pregnant during a blackout. I drank to enable my sexual behavior and to rid myself of any shame I felt.

When I stopped drinking, I started caring more about who I was. I wanted to behave with self-respect. But my patterns and my underlying causes were still there. A big turning point came after I spent the night with someone I really in my heart did not want to be with. After that night, I looked in the mirror, looked myself in the eye, and said, "I forgive you." That was the last time I was with someone I didn't want to be with.

-- Anonymous

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