From the October 2007 magazine.

Whole Steps

An alcoholic finds serenity on the inside

On april 6, 2007, i celebrated twelve years of sobriety and then turned fifty the following day. I am serving a thirty-five year federal sentence that I began on August 18, 1988. Federal law requires that I serve thirty years without parole. I value the life that I live today, but it has not always been that way--after my arrest I was suicidal. I thought my life was over. I knew I would probably spend the rest of my life in prison, but a resentment made me want to live. My plan was to live and to get even.

Which came first, the alcoholic or the resentment? In my case, it was definitely resentment of others. I seem to have been born with the ability to hold onto ill feelings against others. It was a curse, because such a characteristic made me restless, irritable, and discontent.

-- Wayne D.

Edgefield, South Carolina

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