At Wit's End

Oldie but goodie

Two drunks were adrift on a raft in the ocean. They had just about given up hope of rescue. One began to pray, "Oh, Lord. We've led a worthless life. We've been unkind to our wives and we've neglected our children. We've drunk too much. But if you'll save us, we promise that we'll stop."

The other drunk shouted, "Hold it! I think I see land!"