From the September 2010 magazine.

When I was 15

An old-timer returns to the scene of a horrible night of drinking

"I'm pregnant." I still ponder pre-drawn sudden wakefulness that always followed my binges of drinking and blackout craziness. Was its cause a physiological response to the overindulgence of alcohol or was it an emotional and spiritual response to the unseemly acts that took place during my drinking binges?

Whatever the answer, this is the statement that jolted me awake one August morning in 1973 when I was 15 years old. We had moved to Florida from upstate New York five short days prior. I was very distraught about the move from its inception, being forced to leave all that I loved--a grandma, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, the only school I'd ever known and a hometown full of my growing up--for what my parents thought was paradise.

-- A.K.R.

Cooperstown, N.Y.

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