From the October 2010 magazine.

Strange questions

JUST wanted to share some of the more "interesting questions" that I've tried to answer these past years answering the phones at our local intergroup here in Stuart, Fla.

1. "Can I get an AA bus schedule?"
2. "Where can I buy a breathalyzer?"
3. "My son is in AA in Stuart; I want to speak with his sponsor."
4. "Is drinking permitted at meetings?"
5. "I just docked my boat; where am I, what day is it and what time is it?"
6. "My mother is a hopeless drunk.she.s 70 years old.I want to put her away!" I responded that AA does not use the word "hopeless" and that I had a 70-year old woman right at my desk buying a Big Book. She was sober six weeks. After getting her OK, I asked if the caller would like to speak with her.
7. (Phone call from a young man, screaming): "I.m not an alcoholic, I.m not an alcoholic, I.m not an alcoholic!.They booted my car, took away my license and are making me attend these damn meetings!" I asked what happened on the breathalyzer test and he said he blew 2.80. I asked how he was standing and he said the state trooper asked the same question. I told him alcoholic or not, he was about to get a great education on the subject.
8. "I want to talk to the manager!" I responded that there is no manager. "Then I want to speak to the person in charge! I.m from the newspaper and received numerous complaints about .newcomer abuse.."


Hobe Sound, Fla.

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