Grapevine Online Exclusive

Published October 2013.

"I'll Be OK"

She and her mom were best friends in AA and in life

"I love you Mom." I'm in her dimly lit living room. The only sounds are her labored breathing and the rhythmic gasps of the oxygen machine. She has just woken up in another panic attack. I've given her some morphine, and I'm rubbing her back, trying to help her calm down. However, I've noticed her breathing is becoming erratic, and deep down I know this is the end.

It's time for me to let her go, so I say, "I'm going to be okay." She takes a few more breaths and then she's gone. I sit for a moment in disbelief. I had been taking care of her for months, and I guess I knew this was coming, but I just can't believe she's gone. Such a force of nature. I guess I never believed that anything could beat her, but the cancer finally did.

This is a preview. To view the full article, use the link below to begin a free 7-day trial!

Related Items:

What's It All About?
An old timer reflects on his family before and after he came into AA

With a Compassionate Heart
After her bathroom flooded neighboring apartments, she put the Steps to work

Far and Away
On vacation, she had trouble finding a meeting until a little sign showed her the way

Brighter Roads
Getting sober changed her thoughts and her life

Subscribe