Experience with AA Online?
Have you ever been helped by AA members online? Was your introduction to AA from an online chat? Do you live in a remote location and depend on your computer for sobriety? Do you do rewarding service work reaching out to members through your computer? Share your story here.
Hi, my name is Chris. I live on a tropical island in the Indian Ocean and have been sober for 97 days. It is wonderful, but lonely!! The hardest part right now is that the AA meetings are very few and far between for me. To get to a meeting takes a three hour train ride and a two hour tuk tuk ride. There are only two English speaking meetings a week on the island. It is a grueling trip and very expensive. At first I was willing to make the trip because I felt hopeful. There are three other women in the program and I thought I would be able to make friends with them. Not to be. They are way too busy. One of them has kind of attached herself to me as my sponsor but her advice is really hurting both my feelings and my program. I know that I am new, but I also know that she makes me soooo depressed. I think she is kind of depressed herself and after reading some of the comments in this forum, I think I am going to stop letting her try to control me. She keeps talking about me getting honest but I am not sure she really listens to me. Her agenda is interesting, but she is trying to force me to move to another city and do things that I just can't afford to do right now. I was really happy with my sobriety and felt that I was doing well until she started calling me a few weeks ago. Now I am so sad and lonely. I know she means well, but I can see now that she probably is very sad herself and doesn't know any different. I am 60 years old and really don't want to spend my time left on this earth in self=recrimination and negativity. I have a terrific sponsor and I need to put up some protective barriers. Thanks for giving me the courage to take care of myself.!!
I live in US, but was fortunate to attend AA IN Thailand's 18th Roundup, Mar 2013. Met many expat AA's in situations similar to your's. I don't know how I would stay in recovery in such a life, but now I know if they can, so can I! Perhaps some of those folk will show up in the Overseas Intergroup, or perhaps the intergroups in Thailand and other countries in your region can hook you up. Please pray for me if you need something to break the obsession for just a moment.
Consider looking at the AA Online Intergroup to find some online group meetings. The Intergroup has a meeting directory of over a 100 groups / meetings to choose from. They list email, discussion forum, chat room and audio/video type meetings. Lots of different meetings to choose from. The meeting directory is at http://aa-intergroup.org/directory.php
I've been having trouble getting to meetings because of the terrible winter and my demanding work schedule. It leaves me feeling isolated and guilty. That's why I joined the online group.
I, I am retired, but live on an isolated tropical island. There are a few meetings here but they are very far away. Plus, only two a week are in English!! I am trying everything I can to stay on the grid. Maybe this will help?
I have 88 days sober.I was without a job for 6 months and have gratefully been working for 1 week. my world is different now b/c I am working the graveyard shift. Getting used to these hours is new and very different. I haven't been able to make meetings every day and my sponsor is less than understanding. sometimes she calls me twice during my daytime sleeping time slot.All she cares about is "are you going to a meeting?" she is appearing ignorant to me. tonight I told her I have to drive 2 hours each day x next 4 days for job-related classes. Instead of saying be safe( I hate driving far)she said are you going to a meeting? I am getting turned off and feel pissed off with her and feel like disassociating with her. just putting this out there. am not drinking of drugging. also I go to church every sunday which I feel is a meeting and she says church doesn't count as an hour/aa stuff. tonight she told me I need to get into step 2 work and find a god. so my church isn't enough for her? this is today's dilemma. not a bigee like my old issues but this all is disturbing me. should god be the chair I sitting on OR all the people in the rooms??? I like church..it makes me feel calm and peaceful. any opinions out there?
I love my church as well, but it sounds like your sponsor really cares about you staying sober. I now have 25 years sober but when I was where you are my sponsor had me go to a meeting every day and I sometimes went to more than one a day. I was told that we have to "do recovery" like we did our drinking in order to remove the obsession to drink. I also think it is important to learn to "follow direction" and remove ourselves from "being in charge" which we do by following our sponsor's direction. I hope you and your sponsor can get on the same page and that you will get this difficult time behind you. PS...you will appreciate your church more with some quality sobriety. :)
There are other objectives in AA, we realize this at meetings this may be a topic too. Sobriety affects us all and is a goal we function in, and can be a spiritual journey to prioritize. I have found meetings a great way of life, when I can get there.
I wonder if this subject may also question others?
Thanks for your thoughts! I am 97 days sober and having similar issues. I have a terrific sponsor but one lady in the program seems to have adopted me as her project and is really trying to run my life for me. I didn't ask her to be my sponsor because I don't really feel she and I communicate well. I like her and would like to be friends with her, her control issues just aren't for me. MY sponsor helps me stay sober, but dealing with this (well-meaning!) person makes me feel really depressed!! I really appreciate knowing that I am not alone I this area! I think I am going to try some of the suggestions I see on this page and be nice bit a bit distant from her.
If your 88 days sober and are going to daily meetings as your plan of recovery, feeling pissed off is what you should be feeling, I know from experience. The 12 steps used as a way of life expel the compulsion to drink and make you usefully and happily whole, try it.
To me it sounds as if your sponsor uses meetings as a plan of recovery and places a lot of weight on going to meetings. As you can see at 88 days sober, the average alcoholic cannot attend a meeting everyday and still live life. At some point you have to work, be a family member and meet daily obligations that humans must meet.
As far as church and step 2, if going to church was enough to replace the steps, we would suggest you go to church and not emphasize the steps as a program of recovery in AA. Besides if you had the power to apply what you learned or experienced at church you wouldn’t have a drinking problem. Don’t get me wrong, I attend church and AA meetings weekly. I apply what I learn in church and meetings in my daily life. Even I know I can’t sit in my garage and become a car. So why would sitting in church or AA meetings make me happy and sober? Faith without works is dead.
As far as sponsorship goes, you will get a lot of advice on sponsorship from people who haven’t had the experience of sponsorship. Funny isn’t it, alcoholics giving advice on something they don’t have experience with! When I met my sponsor, he said we would work the steps from the big book. He said the book would protect me from him. As you can see with your sponsor, since your not working the steps out of the book, you are having problems. If you follow the program from the big book, do what it says, and put half the effort into that as you did into drinking, you will not fail.
Please be grateful for your sponsor, at least they are teaching you what not to do!
Opinions! you bet!. This is one of my concerns about today's
concept of sponsorship. Thanks for an honest example.
The original duties of a sponsor was to help a new member
get admitted to a hospital, and to assure the hospital that
the patient's bill was going to be paid. The sponsor
was to be a servant not a master. Follow up to help the
newcomer and his/her family were the duties of a sponsor.
IMO, today's concept of sponsorship ought to be totally
discarded. The real sponsor will reappear, as a matter of course.
I have never really had a sponsor. I have kept a name
available to reply when some AA expert asks me, "DO YOU
HAVE A SPONSOR", so as not to appear controversial.
I did try the role as sponsor, after a dozen sober
years, but had little knowledge about that role. I am
only qualified as an equal, not a teacher/preacher/teacher.
I, too, have found a Sunday church service which aids
me greatly in my search for peace and calm.
Be as polite as you reasonably can, but part ways with
this person. If she chooses to remain an equal AA friend,
thank her. If not, don't feel offended. This distorted
understanding of sponsorship has been ingrained for about
twenty five years now. It makes us look like some kind of
cult and harms our public image. ANONYMOUS
I almost hate to say this but the program of AA is not just meetings. The program is spelled out quite clearly in the AA Big Book. The real program is something I take with me to work, home and in the world. For me, the program involved having a spiritual awakening as the result of working the steps and then sharing that with others. I now enjoy applying the principles of AA in meetings but also at work, home, play and in my community.
Don't get me wrong, meetings are great if you can make them. During early sobriety (not working and no family), I enjoyed hitting one and sometimes two per day. As my life filled up with work, wife, home, kids I had to cut down on meetings but remained committed to my home group, service and AA.
I worked with a couple of guys in AA who spent summers on fishing boats in Alaska. They took their Big Books and journals and continued to work the program of AA. They would return to town for the winter and we'd pick up where we left off. They loved going back to meetings after months cooped up on a boat.
Also, there are lots of ways to have a meeting. When I lived in a small town with few meetings, AA folks used to drop in on each other or meet for coffee. One old timer couldn't get to meetings so people would stop by her house for a cup of coffee and a "meeting". The key was that these folks were committed to working the program and to living a sober life.
Change sponsors immediately. Interview them as you did for your job. They are interviewing you as well. Look for a good fit so that you welcome calls from your sponsor, not view them as an annoyance.
If you absolutely need someone one-on-one to talk to frequently you will likely be stuck with some control that you don't like, especially with her. A sponsor is one of many tools for recovery, a good one. A guide to a place you have never been to before and sometimes can be scary. If you can keep an adequate meeting schedule, read and learn the program of recovery and practice it you certainly won't be the first.
Recovery requires a program of action. Information isn't enough. There is so much crap passing itself off as AA in meetings that we need to spend an hour reading AA literature for every hour at AA tables.
I think it shows some good balance that you put a high priority on returning to work. If we aren't doing what we can to be responsible human beings and getting some rewards for it what do we have to lose by drinking?
Most of us were good at re-setting the standard for when we needed to quit. The "I'll quit when..." kept getting worse and worse. We are apt to do the reverse in recovery. "I'm going to 90 in 90, well almost, twice a week anyway, I'll make up for this week later." Write down what you're willing to commit to for the next 88 days (reading, writing, meetings, church and more) and see if you can stick with it. If not you may need someone nagging you.
Sometimes the person we choose to sponsor us is just not a match.
In early sobriety, my judgement about people wasn't all that good although I'd argue rather than admit that. My first sponsor, suggested by the group, met me at the restaurant for our first talk with her pupils blasted wide open with cocaine... and she was trying to tell me how to stay sober. NOT! My second one fired me because I made HER too crazy. The third was the sponsor of my heart who taught me step work as she did her own.
Don't feel guilty about praying for guidance to the right person and trying with someone else. I suggest meeting and talking a couple times before you ask to be sponsored by someone. It is ok to test drive before committing. And if someone you like is too busy, don't take it personally. The right teacher will appear.
sometimes feel have to be part a group to be part of some thing jion my home group last march 2013 relaps two times once in june 2013 and jan 2014 becase feel i dont disseerve to get my one year chip in my home group alway push me to get sponcer still go every tues night meeting
I am 88 days clean. I am a loner in groups. I won't be comfortable in a home group. now I dislike my back-woods ignorant sponsor..but I know I am not drinki n drugging and on step 1 so don't feel bad. some of us cn't get into the party atmosphere of aa. I like talking 1:1 with another druggie like me n don't like sharing in a group. aa has to be individualized to each person. get it? that what I think.
I understand how you feel, i felt the same way and continue to feel that way and I have 23 years sober. In all those years, I've never gone to a meeting by myself. I also like talking one on one. I get sever panic attachs going to meetings with all those people. Anyways about getting a sponsor that you feel is like you might make you less lonely. In my beginnings it was hard because i had 2 small kids and only my parents would watch them and then they went to there dad's house every weekend then i went to 2 a day sometimes. When i attended my first meeting i grabbed the first women i was sitting next to because she was pretty and about my age. I was told to call her every day and even that i couldn't do because i never new what to say. I went through several sponsors and my last one i felt like i was her sponsor. I don't have a spnsor now. My husband has 29 years and he said you don't need a sponsor, but just a friend. I couldn't take a sponsor that was pushy and kept telling me over and over what to do. I don't go to church but I believe in God so he helps me to stay sober.
88 days clean. Hopefully You have 100 days now. Don't
be to hard on your back-woods ignorant sponsor. He/She is
only teaching you as She/He has been taught.
I was a couple years sober before I could say more than
a few words at the group meetings. "My name is Joe, and I
am an alcoholic", (THAT IS STEP ONE), was about it. I would try to mumble a
few words at times. I actually had to get used to the sound
of my own voice. Even in a family of six, most of my life
had been spent in silence. Two years in the US Army was
of great benefit to me. And liquor. Without liquor I don't
know how I would have ever coped.
I still do not like the party atmosphere of A.A. Never
have and never will. IMO it spoils our public image.
Do you really want or need someone giving you directions?
Having a sponsor is certainly not mandatory. It is only
a suggestion, and a mild one at that, IMO. I have never
really had a sponsor in over four decades of abstinence
from alcohol. I have had spiritual advisors and elderly
statesmen who have been of great help. And lots of AA friends and phone numbers.
So you are another loner. Welcome Aboard! Have a good
long sober life. We have some slogans which I like: Live
and Let Live: Easy Does It: and First Things First. My
favorite is "But For The Grace of God", but that Grace
came much later. Bob H. Seymour, Ct.
My name is Terry P. I keep asking myself that question over every day. I live in a small town in USA and I got sober in a big city. Where people could go to meeting and go out for afterwards if you wanted too. But
things like that don't happen in small towns. Especially in certain AA clubs they are the most uncaring
people you ever want to meet in a dark alley. Don't get me wrong not all small towns are like the one I grew
up in. Or the one I now live in which happens to be two different towns in two different states. Many miles
apart. In 1991 I had to go home for my dads funeral I had to spend 13 hours on a train leaving the only support I had at the time.
I was told by certain family members that I was not allowed to bring home my life long partner. Both of my
parents had met the person I had chosen to spend the rest of my life with. I was sober 8.5 years
Wanting a truly anonymous place for 24 hours to chat and there does not be such a place. Well now I have already had a few in my frustration!
Membership in AA is based on our liabilities not our assets so what were you expecting?
Meetings with Bill W are available 24-7. Just pull your Big Book off the shelf and apply any answer you need.
Hi. today is day one of not drinking. I don't like crowds or going out. I do best in quiet and where there is little extraneous distractions. I have been listening to aa speaker tapes online plus I just started following recoverers in their blogs. I started a blog to chronicle the much needed interior transformation. The bottle has been my friend but it cannot be both friend and treat me as bad as it does so the bottle no more is my friend. We have parted ways today. I want to help others online eventually but for now I am not equipped to do so. I am grateful that there is online help, free for the asking, for just showing up.
Drinking like you was my good friend. It takes time to lose that aspect of long career or relationship.I like the one day at a time aspect,that centers me and helps me get on! I am not a people person I like being alone lately? Weird but true,I feel more at ease.
Im 47 and have drank since i was 15. I have been in out of aa. The one time i truly stayed sober was deployment to iraq 18months i dont have anyone to talk to still stigma in military very worroed about health ptsd doesnt help either.......
Ann, I'm a retired Army vet with 20 years active service and several deployments to Iraq since 2003.
More importantly I'm sober now for 4 1/2 years and although the Army sent me to AA initially, I stayed because it works.
There are MANY vets in recovery and as a medical professional I can tell you that your record is confidential and seeking assistance, formal or not, WILL NOT impact your career negatively.
AA is the only fellowship that mirrors my military relationships. It's because we help one another when we are in trouble and have each other's "six".
Please consider going to a local meeting and I assure you it will make you feel better every time. Take care, Les
Both alcoholism and post traumatic stress disorder are treatable. I'm sure that neither require anything like the effort you employed in training and executing your duties. Perhaps difficult for a while. If your best thinking hasn't fixed you, perhaps it's time to use someone else's. "In and out of AA" is a tell. The difference between a chicken and a pig before a ham and egg breakfast. The chicken was involved, the pig was committed. Those of us who are committed to recovery recover. Sitting in meetings watching others use the program is like sitting on the deck of the Titanic watching others use the life boats.
I don't know if this is within AA's non-affiliation but I would rather error toward assisting you than not. Last week at a Friday night men's meeting about six guys visited from a VA treatment center. They liked us and what we were doing. They were also pleased with the VA program. One said he had been through treatment in a super expensive rehab in California and of course continued drinking and said the VA was better.
We see a lot of men come and go but I really had a good feeling about this bunch.
I got sober thirty years ago. Vets then were Vietnam vets of course. Every one felt so uniquely troubled that no one could understand them. They came to AA. They stopped drinking. They used the twelve step program of recovery. Their other problems faded away with their alcoholism. New lives, new families new careers. Some still come to meetings to share what they received. Look for them.
A great deal is available to you if you seek it.
“We, of Alcoholics Anonymous are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.”
Foreword to the first addition of “Alcoholics Anonymous”
Just before the BB was submitted for print, several
important changes were made. It originally read The purpose of this book is to tell alcoholics how they can recover. It was changed it to read This is the story of how we (the
first hundred members) recovered. If you do not understand
the difference, please read it from the books again. This
wording is just from memory. The story is told and is
offered in a suggestive manner to anyone who might be
interested. There is a solution: Don't drink alcohol,
period. Do whatever you need to do to accomplish this. We
allow you to figure this out.
If I could just "not drink" I would not need AA. I tried to not drink for 17 years. It didn't work. It wasn't until I found AA and all that it encompasses that I was relieved of the obsession to take that first drink. "Just don't drink" addresses the physical part of my affliction but does nothing for the mental obsession that opens the door to the first drink.."this time it will be different, just a couple, it's been a long time, a couple of beers won't hurt..."
The magic or miracle of AA for me was that the mental obsession to drink was completely removed the day I did the 3rd step with my sponsor over 25 years ago. I immediately went on to the rest of the steps so I don't know that it was the 3rd that did it. Whatever. Now I can just not drink on a daily basis as long as I maintain my spiritual condition.
If I could have stopped drinking on my own accord I
certainly would have stopped. I tried everything I knew.
I would not have had to attend all these dreadful AA
meetings. (here is where I have to tell the group they
can laugh). They all know I love AA.
I knew I needed to quit drinking; I honestly wanted to
quit for good but could "not drink" only short periods
I was able to stop by God's Grace. I had expended all
of my "power". Using the principles I found in Alcoholics
Anonymous, I have not had a drink of any alcoholic beverage
in four decades.
"It wasn't until I found AA, AND ALL THAT IT ENCOMPASSES
that I was relieved of the obsession to take that first drink". Me, too. Thanks. Bob H. Seymour, CT.
Bill W. discovered in his first six months of what he
called "violent exertion", that prospects do not respond
favorably to the HIW approach. But, by using advice from
Dr. Silkworth, Bill found an approach which did work. By
offering the gift of sobriety with sincere humility and
weakness and with teaspoons instead of buckets, sobriety
is achieved. Dr. Silkworth offered a "few simple rules".
Contrary to popular belief, these rules are not the
twelve steps. The "little doctor" had tried these
methods for twenty years with little success. The
"cart before the horse IDEA" offered by Silkworth is
what really worked.
Another change before the BB went to print was
the opening of chapter five. Rarely have we seen anyone fail
who has thoroughly followed our path. This originally
read "Thoroughly followed our directions". They do not mean the same thing. Giving directions to an alcoholic rarely works.
So we only offer a path to follow. ANONYMOUS
In general my experience with AA online has not been very positive in regards to being in the chatroom when meetings were not going on. Many of the regulars in the room were very controlling as well as passive aggressive. Dismissive of anything that was said that was different than what the group mentality was at the time. I found coming to the room outside of the meeting time to be the worst. Reply #45 of this thread is exactly the attitude that many of the online regular AA members had to anyone coming into the room. If you do not understand your issue in the same way as those people did, you were not trying hard enough, you were making excuses,... etc. It is a waste of time to look for emotional support in the online AA room. Which is very unfortunate because I think that is a very important aspect of recovery, the shared 'we'. That we do not face this problem alone. I would think compassion and understanding would be at the forefront of exchanges between members but the several times I have been in the online AA room it was severely lacking.
I work and go to school full time while utilizing public transportation as my means to get around, it is very difficult for me to get to meetings. Someone telling me that I am making an excuse without trying to fully understand where I am coming from is frustrating and not going to help me in my recovery journey.
As far as meetings are considered, I believe the online meetings to be a great place to start but would not rely on them solely.
I am just listening.
Three enquiries. We owe you answers and fast.
AA.org is a good place to start.
I use the book Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.
Both are available at most AA meeting places and some public libraries and book stores and online auctions and book stores. Cheap from all sources.
AA is easy to find in North America and Europe and available in dozens of other countries. Telephone directories and online searches will get you meeting locations and schedules.
We don't care who you are. We don't care if you use your real name. We don't want your money. When we can afford a dollar or two we put it in the basket. There are enough of us who AA made successes of that there is always enough. What are called "Closed Meetings" are for anyone with a desire to stop drinking, that's all. "Open" meetings also allow others to attend. You don't have to sat "I'm Joe or Sue and I am an alcoholic" like on TV. Many of us do but new people are under no pressure to say anything. It should be easy to find someone after the meeting to visit with one on one or ask questions if you want. If you don't like the first one try a different location or even time. Our groups vary a great deal.
Many of us look back at how we hid our cars two blocks from the AA meeting place but had used the parking closest to the bar or liquor store. We don't care if the world knows we are drunks but want to keep quiet about stopping? Most people know we have drinking problems. Thousands of employers send tens of thousands of employees to get help every year. It's a disease and they know it.
One fact we don't see often enough - We need to stop the drinking and learn to live with whatever the results are. I couldn't "study up" on how to stop. I had to stop, then study.
Doctor? One of our two founder was a physician and thousands more have followed. You should have known better? Should a doctor "know better" than to get an aneurism? I didn't drink insanely because I was stupid, I drank insanely because I have the disease of alcoholism and didn't know it and sure didn't know what to do about it. With AA's help that changed completely and permanently almost thirty four years ago. You are welcome to join me and millions more.
For you that wants twenty four hours, not two years, I know what you mean. I just wanted to take a break from drinking, get straightened out, start over with a clean slate. Found out I had a disease called alcoholism with three main symptoms.
Drinking a small amount set up a craving for just one more, then one more, then one more, that I could not stop,
I couldn't stay away from that first drink, I could always think up another excuse or another good reason,
and I deny the first two symptoms. (It will be different this time because...) It was the same hundreds of times but I expect it to be different. Repeating behavior - expecting different results, insanity.
It started with me taking action - making the call - walking through the door. It's open for you if you want it.
I am after years of heavy drinking looking for help. A friend recommended I go to AA meetings. My worry is that someone there may recognize me and tell my employer. Can I start online ?
I had the same fears when I wanted to get sober. The things I didn't realize included that everybody already knew I was a drinker, and that going to AA is a good thing. I also did not know about anonymity and that most people are busy thinking about themselves...not me.
Sure you can start online, and go to very early morning meetings or Sunday AM meetings to find more sobriety and respect for anonymity. The important thing is not to give up on getting sober. If you are able to pray...ask to be kept sober.
Hi, My name is Edgar ...and once , I was exactly the way you feel now . I went to an AA meeting , sat in the back covering my face , just not to be recognize by anybody in my town , in fear to lose my Job .
And guess What ? Days , weeks and months passed on , my life got better and my employer ...was happier with the way I was working : More productive , more responsible ..more trustable . That was 35 years ago . Today , EMPLOYERS are more aware of our illness and Helpful ...So , please ...Don't be scare of what people or bosses may say ...I am pretty sure , they will support you in every way , and you ONE DAY AT A TIME will be a HAPPY and CONTENT MAN ....So , go Please , Do not Stop ...you are there because someone LOVE YOU ....AND IF YOU BELLIEVE , everything will change .
Perhaps you should talk to your boss about your plans. it helps being completely honest. Also, it's called Alcohols Anonymous. People shouldn't be worrying about telling others who is in the rooms. It is a privilege to be in the program. One shouldn't be ashamed about trying to get their life in order.
I'm trying to start to be sober, the only way is online, but people are talking 2 years sober, I'm just wanting 1 day, 1 day at a time.
I'm trying to start to be sober, the only way is online, but people are talking 2 years sober, I'm just wanting 1 day, 1 day at a time.
PLEASE DON'T WORRY ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES TIME! JUST DO YOU, ONE DAY AT A TIME BECAUSE...GUESS WHAT? DAYS TURN INTO WEEKS, WEEKS TURN INTO MONTHS, AND MONTHS TURN INTO YEARS!!:-)
Hi I'm Wongani. I'm 25 years old and I have a drinking problem. I was sobber for almost a year then I fell off the wagon. I cant seem to stop now. I feel guilty and promise myself I'll change but the guilt wears off and I drink again. I had a heart attack last year and I know I shouldn't drink but I always go back to it. What's worse is I'm a doctor and I should know better. I want to be sober again but I'm all alone in this and there's no one I can talk to. If you're there anyone, please help!
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to
You just have to believe, because all of us are believing for you!
I am 22 years sober thanks to this incredible program. Got sober at 25. I went through the revolving door with AA and jumping off the wagon for years because I just wasn't willing to go to any lengths for sobriety. There was always a reason to go back out. Once I was scared and miserable enough to really work this, start listening to these AAers and do everything they said even if it seemed stupid and strange, I finally started to get it. Because they were happy, healthy, free and I was not, I had to stop my excuses and start taking some serious action.
For years, I had this voice in my head that said if I didn't drastically change my ways, something terrible was going to happen. Like I was going to kill someone while driving drunk, or let something horrible happen to someone while they were in my care. At that point, you have to live this program like it's your last possible chance at a normal decent life. That's what I did. Embrace this program with every ounce of your soul and don't let go. Because hardly anybody who has ever had a drinking problem can solve it through human effort alone. Even if they stop the drink, they replace it with another addiction so they never become happy, joyous and free. Just another still suffering alcoholic.
When I was 25 years old I suspected that I was probably
an alcoholic. I had seen enough of alcoholism to know that
I was one, or soon would be. I tried to stop but seldom
made it more than a few weeks. In the next couple of years
I feared that I would be dead by the time I was 30.
A co-worker took me to an AA meeting. I could not
understand how AA could help me. But I was sober on my
28th birthday and have not had a drink of alcohol in
more than four decades. I joined AA and have never
regretted it. I regret that AA has changed so much. I
was involved in some of the mistakes.
Don't drink. Don't take that first drink today. Do
whatever you have to do to stay away from alcohol.
Get yourself a set of handcuffs. Walk into the woods
and handcuff yourself to a tree. Take an energy bar
and your cell phone. Call someone to come with bolt
cutters. Preferably someone from AA who will understand.
Stay sober. Stay alive. We need doctors who know
what it is like to need a drink. I wish you all the
best. Make a real effort to attend six AA meetings
in different locations. Out of the six hopefully there
will be one where you can feel accepted. ANONYMOUS
I was sober about 11 years and on the road supporting a technology conference in Denver in mid December. On the day I was to fly home, a big snowstorm hit that cancelled all flights. I was forced to share a room with one of the other consultants. That evening, I managed to find a meeting close by and made my way there through the snow. The next morning at breakfast my roomie asked where I'd gone the night before. I said, "a meeting" . He said, "what kind of meeting". Not being in the least ashamed of my disease or recovery I said AA. He reached his hand across the table and said, "20 years". That night, still stuck in town, we were invited to the Christmas party of the company we were consulting for. He and I shared a few knowing smiles throughout the night as we watched a few of our compatriots hit the skids.
Because I was travelling a lot in those days and did not have a solid relationship with a sponsor, I asked my roomie to become my cyber sponsor. Our electronic relationship lasted for several years. Occasionally we'd find ourselves in the same town working a project and would head to meetings together. Eventually, I got off the road, settled in a town in the northwest and found a solid home group & sponsor. My relationship with my cyber sponsor waned. Then one day, there he was in a local meeting. He had settled in the same town. He's now retired here and we see each other frequently.
Thanks for a sincere AA message. I believe that is what
Bill W. meant when he wrote about PROPER sponsorship.
Is this what they call a chat room?
I'm a very good drinker, not so good
on the computer. I'm nakita and have
been sober for three years but love
listening to how others deal with
there soberity. I've done my steps
but we are going to add to my 4th
step and really go deep. I have a
lot of issues to let go of. I tell
my sponce's when it's time,
god will let you know.