Experience with AA Online?
Have you ever been helped by AA members online? Was your introduction to AA from an online chat? Do you live in a remote location and depend on your computer for sobriety? Do you do rewarding service work reaching out to members through your computer? Share your story here.
The Big Book does mention Modem to Modem. Not all are able to attend F2F and if I can help online, I will. I am responsible no matter where or when someone reaches for help.
I'm sober now four years, and I began my sober journey via the Internet so I owe a lot to online AA groups. As our Big Book says: Face to face or modem to modem. Not everyone is blessed to have local meetings and I am responsible for the hand and that includes a cyber hand.
I remember encouraging a lady online after she had just relapsed years ago, by sending her a subscription to the Grapevine. I didn't know her other than our brief conversations online, she lived somewhere in Arizonia, and she felt bad as again being a newcomer, the best encouragement I could offer was to be kind and send a year subscription to the Grapevine, I hope it helped her stay sober one day at a time, it has helped me throughout my days sober. today is 9,539 and Thank God for direction that day of gift subscription.
Hello. Anyone here?
I have been though the AA gauntlet. The process is a good and an honest one. I am just one of those who simply gives in to the urge to have a drink too quickly. I just came off a solid month of not drinking; working out semi regularly, eating well, not spending money foolishly. Then bang! Here I am, 4-18-13 feeling bad because last night and the night before I went out--to my sneak joints--and dropped over 400.00 on "irresponsible thrills" and beer. Today I am sitting here at 11:30AM deciding if I should cancel a tutoring session because of my self disgust. I need to stop this!.
It seems to me that all the online AA meetings out there occur through chat and message boards. That is a great start, but it seems that you lose some of the benefits of in person meetings (eye-contact, seeing people's gestures, etc). Are there any online groups that allow for live video meetings? If not, is this something that you think people would use and find value in?
The only requirement for membership in an AA Group is the desire to stop drinking. However this desire is useless unless it is qualified as being 'willing to go to ANY lengths' as far as Sobriety is concerned. 'Membership' alone is never enough. The AA Program involves Action and more action, an ongoing process of recovery. It is a way of life. One may have a pass to a theater seat, but no performance is seen unless they actually go to the Theater and use it.
I was thinking about me possibly being an alcoholic, I am still fighting with the denial stage.."I can handle a few drinks." You know the drill...I am starting to face the so very ugly truth, that NOONE wants to face...I drink to get drunk...why?? Why am I not normal? Why cant I just have 1 or 2 drinks, like most of my friends...what is wrong with me? I looked for AA online, cause I live out in the boonies...can find nothing, just posted this...for the hell of it I guess
The only way for you to know it you're an alcoholic is to go through the questions...I found out that I needed help when I couldn't go a month with-out needing a drink. My husband was still actively drinking at the time. I first tried meetings, but I felt that I wasn't anything like them....lol. Sometimes you just need to find the right group of people. I don't live in the boonies did as a kid though, and I still like meetings online. My schedule doesn't give me time to join a regular sit down and come in group. If alcohol interferes with your job, family, life in general, if you think you can't have fun with-out a drink ...then yeah...you are different. I drank to get drunk to remove some very old emotional pain. When I got sober for a year.....WOW!! It was a hard process, especially for someone who doesn't drink coffee. You got online to ask questions....KEEP asking.....Welcome...Mikey
The Traditions of AA also prevent us from enforcement of them. This works no hardship for those sincerely seeking recovery from Alcoholism however. I personally was gifted with the necessary willingness to go to any lengths to Stop Drinking, and for those who aren't willing to do anything but offer excuses why they cannot attend real AA meetings -- the Internet serves them adequately, making it possible to connect with other habitual slippers to share their misery with. 'Co-miserating' seems to be the common thread in the online formats; 'my dog's grandmother died and I wanna use!' (USE??) I never needed , nor looked for any excuses to drink. I simply drank. Of course, one needs seek no reason to recover either.
Does anyone else seeany irony of this person’s monitoring online meetings and providing an assesment of what’s wrong online, ONLINE?
I do see the irony....
Keep getting drunk and you'll see all the ironies in the world.
I just took a look at this the first time and read your hateful post
it says in the forward of the 4th edition big book about on line AA
I was glad to see this
I am a member of an on line women's e mail group for several years
we are not a bunch of slippers that can n ot find our rear ends
I have been sober 15 years and get to have friends from all over the country and around the world
we are every active in 12th step work
if I wewr a new comer and read your ramblings I would run out the door
and if you are so down on on line why the heck are you yammering all of your pitiful drible on line??
I have a suggestion
work the steps especially on your defects they are bleeding all over the place!!
Good Morning Lance A. from Missouri. I do hope you made it through your tough day. This morning I was reading your post. Your not alone my friend. I do remember days just like that and it can be tough. It does sounds like you have good intention staying sober.............I went two years dry with no serenity or peace of mind "the thought to drink was continuously on my mind", I didn't follow the suggestion and had the same excuse about getting a sponsor...."I havent found the right one" or " I'm not calling this guy he dosent know me or how I'm feeling"...... eventually I went back to my old ways. Telling myself I was better and I didnt need this program anymore and Guess what happen Lance A.??? That monster you know came back and it really got bad, worse than before.............I had to findly through in the towel give it to my Higher Power and took the suggestion and followed through with the steps. I didn't want to, you know how we are!!! But I was so desperate and tired of the monster on my back!!!I finaly became willing to do what ever it took to change. The obsession to drink was removed from my crazy thinking after so many years. It truly is a blessing and I'm so thankful today!!! Listen to friend who cares about you. Get a sponsor and work those steps.
Wishing you the best.
A member of AA
I have been sober for almost a year, March 6th is my birthday. Today has been the toughest day for me since I went into recovery last year. I drove by my old club today three times, just itching to go in and have a drink. I kept saying the serenity prayer and remembering what my bottom was like and it kept the monster on my back asleep for one more day. I am a dry drunk and do not have a sponsor, however I do try to attend meetings, between work, school, my wife and kids, and church. I know I need to get a sponsor, but I just have not found that right person yet. After today, I am going to look a lot harder. I know my Higher Power is walking with me, but I also know its up to me to listen to him! God Bless all of You.
Lance A an alcoholic from Missouri.
Lance, you are an inspiration to me....
I was a dry drunk, until I got married to a wonderful man who was as alcoholic.
Before I attained full sobriety I still had what I call stinky thoughts....One drink won't hurt....I can handle this. Then, I would hear this message....Don't get too lonely, hungry, thirsty or tired. Call them what you will...the basic message was snap out of it!! I don't want to go through the physical pain of addiction again. Nor do I need the mental stress of it either. I stopped drinking in 1978...still have days that are a struggle...go figure....never have slipped. I do have a great support system now than when I was younger. Maybe it gets a bit easier as we get older not sure. I don't have a sponsor. I am so independent and it is hard for me to ask for help. I am a widow since 2004. My beloved died of heart failure.....he had been sober since 1989. We both learned how to have a good time sober. I attend church regularly and have a wonderful family that still includes me in their lives. So I am blessed but so are you!! Mikey A. from Colorado
Anon...I know you posted 2/15 so sorry for a late response. I just wanted to say, 'I hear you!" & you did the right thing by venting a tad on here.Hoping this finds you sober.
I'm a 15 1/2 mth recovering busy alcoholic w/a 17 & 18 yr old at college, 2 pets etc.....(Ha..busy like no one else...got to get that one out of my head).
Anyway...in tough times...I have gotten through by knowing that I had to DO something...go walk the dog to calm down, read in my car any AA/Grapevine materials, go to a meeting, call someone anything but drink. So..
I hope you found a sponsor. I waited a long time & texted 2 at same time & got one. Funny thing is one was a sponser for one. We are working the Steps SLOWLY, rather than quickly & I always, always remember my lowest in tough times which is when my daughter moved out of the house to her dad's at 16. It crushed me, but woke me up.
We are the best of friends now & her father & I are living back together again after 7 1/2 yrs of separation. So, hang in..is amazing what can happen even on tough days!
Your post strikes a chord with many of us. Take a look at the top of p 64 including “Our liquor was but a symptom.” We are the same people with the same faulty thinking, attitudes and problem solving skills generating the same pain in ourselves except without the anesthetic to turn the pain off. No wonder we are miserable.
“Trying” to do something new requires direction. Perhaps making yourself noticed as someone in need of a sponsor would be helpful. Appearing as someone who deserves a good sponsor would be infinitely helpful. Everybody who walks in the door has a boatload of problems. A few have a boatload of problems and are willing to take some action to get rid of them. Potential sponsors notice them because they ask good questions; they have a 12 X 12 and a Big
Book and are reading them and asking questions about them in the meeting, in the “meeting before the meeting” and the “meeting after the meeting”. Throw in asking about the pamphlet “Q and A about Sponsorship” and you’ve painted a picture of yourself as someone who may be sponsor-able.
Also sober in Missouri
I can identify with how you are feeling as I too have been overwhelmed by that obsession to drink especially early in sobriety.
I have been sober since March 1990 and don't have those real white knuckle days of just hanging on anymore. Thank God as I understand Him.
One observation from your story...you are indeed a very busy man. Try not to ever forget 1st things first, and that is, your sobriety comes first. If you don't make your sobriety the most important thing in your life you are heading for a SLIP (sobriety losing its priority).
When an alcoholic picks up again all those other things important in our lives seem to disappear; wife, kids, job, school, health, happiness, etc.
When I start getting restless, irritable,discontent and overwhelmed because I'm spending too much time on other activities I know what I have to. I need to spend more time working on staying sober; like more meetings,praying, meditating, personal inventory, reading AA literature, talking to my sponsor, working the steps, helping other alcoholics,doing service work, etc. I'm sure you know the rest of the story if I don't.
In short doing whatever I need to do (going to any length)to maintain my spiritual condition through this program of action. When I do, I get another daily reprieve and my life is so much better.
Wish you another 24 hours of contented sobriety and thanks for sharing.
When I finally hit bottom and lost everything, I had to move in with my mother(my biggest trigger), she was ill, I was ill, I was a nurse so it seemed logical to do. As I packed up my house, weeping and mourning everything I had lost, I finally realized I had two choices. Drink until I died or get sober. I decided to get sober and I sought online AA groups since leaving my mother alone, was not an option. I found several groups, in Yahoo groups and other places. These groups saved my life. I could not get out to meetings but I found that joining these groups kept AA in my life, all day long. I got emails from group members, I got meetings online. I even found a group that you could post to live. It was not all sunshine and sobriety, but it was real. I will admit, there is a little more room for drama, when the forum is text on a screen, but sometimes drama is part of face to face groups too. I quit a group that got really weird and off program. I took over a group that was floundering. I participated in women's only groups and groups for everyone. The minute I was able to go to face to face meetings I did but I am so grateful for the online groups.
What Have you ever heard said to a youngster in AA?
The other day I heard a bleeding deacon say to a 16 yr old at a meeting " Awwww i have spilled more booze than you have ever seen! This completely made my blood boil, so i stepped back. paused, quick serenity prayer!
Then Walked right between them and asked if I could speak to the youngster outside. thank goodness he said yes. I spent the next few minutes explaining that there are still sick people in AA even tho they haven't drank in many a year doesn't mean that there a working the program of AA, and this gentleman was obviously work his program and not ours! I could see a that the words made him feel a bit more at ease. Then laughing inside i quoted my sponsor "take what you can use and leave the frigin rest there" That sentence change my entire recovery!!
Everone needs someone or somthing to complain to !!!!
Makes no difference where ya at or what you do if you come to give rather than get.
AA Online is the name of a chat site which has unfortunately fooled a lot of newcomers into believing they are a real AA group, and operate within AA Traditions. Sadly, this form of subterfuge helps no one. People who are unable or unwilling to seek a real walk-in AA meeting frequent the place, spewing their sick ideas about 'recovery' endlessly. The place appears to be managed by Alanon members who alternately scold, then coddle ((((((((((hugs))))))))) (gag!) Posting readings from Hazelden and other Bible-based literature, then responding sometimes with outright hostility toward the Big Book shows their deeper animosity toward Alcoholics Anonymous in general. "Step Chat" has displayed not less than a 'reign of terror' against anyone who might suggest that someone find an AA Group in the town they live in. There is no 'online recovery'
this is the first time ive ever seen a guru try try to take over the computer i reached out for a little support and you throw that in my face ? try reading your big book again
Before bashing online AA too much, a person might do a little math exercise. Subtract two from the number of legs you have. Subtract two from the number of ears you have. Now write down the number zero for the number of vehicles you can use to get to meetings. Write down zero if your walker will get you around your home for your basic needs but your knees start screaming for narcotics if you go much farther. Sure, there’s going to be a ride to some handicapped accessible, or deaf signed meeting somewhere sometime. Write down the number of times you have provided any of these services in the last month. Now start with one and see quickly you can get to twelve. I bet really smart, really kind people with tons of experience will be more than happy to help you – on line.
What a great reply to that AA member. Not all of us can get to meetings as we did when we were younger. Some of us find a wealth of information here that would take us maybe a couple of months to get at those meetings. Only people who have walked our walks can complain about online AA. TY
i am new to this so please excuse my mistakes love aa i have a beautiful life the last 25 year alldue to aa with so much of my fears removed i have had freedom to travel down south allby myself and always know i have a family where ever i go thank you AA
I was saving the world from Y2K in 1999, spent six months traveling, away from my home. And I sure did find some wonderful F2F meetings in my travels, great people, great recovery -- it was really nice. But I could not always make a meeting, sometimes worked late, and got to the hotel late, and often I just didn't know where too many meetings were.
And that is where online AA came through. It was great.
All I needed was a puter and I was on my way. I have been in mtgs with people from all over the world, all at the same time, once including a person who lived a block from my home -- isn't that just the best? What a hoot! The online group I "went to" was well attended, and well organized; the "chair" of the mtg determined who would "speak" next, and no one else could type to the screen while that person was typing.
I loved it.
It's obviously not for everyone. You need a computer (duh) and an internet connection (duh2). And I suspect that people who do not type fast might not feel that they're adequately able to express themselves. That never was a problem for me, and maybe isn't for others -- it's not like I "heard" anyone say that in those mtgs, just something I've wondered about.
I have not done it in years, maybe even not at all since 1999.
I happen to love AA, in all its permutations. You gave me my life, and one sponsor in particular, I just owe it to Life to pass on to others what he so willingly gave to me.
In my experience, The Language Of The Heart comes across loud and clear in words freshly minted on a bright screen.
I wish you all a great day, whatever day it is you are reading this.
My name is Samuel and I am an alcoholic. I am grateful to be sober today thanks to AA. I have been participating in AA online for about 3 years and it works well for me. I attend AA meetings in chat rooms online and also have a subscription to the Grapevine. My internet connection just went down on my computer so next month I hope to buy a smartphone so I can continue to listen to the Audio Grapevine and participate in online AA meetings. I am at a local public library typing this. I am keeping in touch with the AA member I am working the steps with in email right now. I am grateful to be sober today.
Experience with AA Online? "BETTER THAN BEING OFF LINE"
I am an alcoholic and a food addict. I have nothing but gratitude for AA Online. I am 8 + years sober by God's grace and with the help of this AA program.
In 2004, I was traveling continuously for my job and there was no way I could reliably get to meetings. I found my sponsor Becky in a meeting run by email. We stayed together for my whole first year in AA until I could get to conventional meetings.
Those email meetings saved my life. Now when I go to meetings and say I came into AA through email, people just drop their jaws in disbelief. But it's not the medium, it's the message. It works if you work it, not matter how you get it. Keep coming back.
One disgruntled member has frequently posted diatribes critical of AA’s present form. In one particular rant he made reference to a court ruling which supposedly rule that AA was a religion. Even a casual observer would know that that is not true but our courts have made wackier rulings so I thought I should look it up. Read the ruling carefully: “Though AA itself was not deemed a religion”. stands out.
The rulling from the 9th circuit, pertained to forcing inmates, parolees, and probationers
into AA. This only proves that if you tell the same lie enought times many will begin to believe its true.
United States Court rulings
United States courts have ruled that inmates, parolees, and probationers cannot be ordered to attend AA. Though AA itself was not deemed a religion, it was ruled that it contained enough religious components (variously described in GRIFFIN v. COUGHLIN below as, inter alia, "religion", "religious activity", "religious exercise") to make coerced attendance at AA meetings a violation of the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment of the constitution. In September 2007, United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit stated that a parole office can be sued for ordering a parolee to attend AA.
I just recently left treatment and I have 28 days sober. Does anyone have any experience doing sponsorship online? Is having an online sponsor realistic?
I suggest you find a sponsor at a local meeting.Start working the steps and get into service work. I wish you well with your new gift of sobrity.
Try going to a meeting
As others have said a Face to Face sponsor is best. Why? Because honest and open communication involves much more then words alone and honesty is the most important component in a sponsor/sponsee relationship you need to be called on your BS. When those 4 hideous horseman (Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration and Despair) come to call you will need someone to talk to right then, not on line not in a couple hours or days or at some appointed time but NOW.
Having said all that I found myself on a small island for 4 months in the first year of my sobriety and I used on line resources a lot. Like this online Grapevine, and communication with a couple closed mouthed friends but I had to come back to the real world and deal with real world problems and I needed my real world sponsor. Please don't confine yourself to a cyber-world sobriety. Dennis D.
AA has something unique.
THE LIVE SHOW IT CANT BE BEATEN
Rember keep comeing back.
It is probably always preferable to have a face to face sponsor. I know a lot of people at face to face meetings.
I have an online sponsor. It is working out OK. I read the book Alcoholics Anonymous and pray daily. I wanted a sponsor to take me through the 12 Steps and to be a bit friendly but not to be in my life on a daily basis necessarily.
I knew therefore, what I needed from a sponsor and was willing to connect regularly with aaonline and face to face meetings. I relapsed in 1999 because I did not work the Steps, and I got back to AA last August.
I do use other people in AA for support and guidance, my sponsor cannot do everything for me. God helps me daily and I hope I do the work necessary to remain sober, happy and free.
I hope this helps you. In the end, you can just try online sponsorship and if it doesn't help you then you can try something else. That's how I approach it. In the first place I had a temporary sponsor, that didn't work out and now I have someone that it works with. It is important not to isolate, I need to share my journey and work the Steps.
In love and fellowship
Absolute nonsense stop waffling pure non stop dribble
you did not drink on line, So If you have decided you want we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it Get up and shift your lazy butt and get down to a meeting and experiace the meaning of fellowship.
Absolutely correct time to cut the waffle and get back to black and white
Trad 3 and 5 and the responsiblity statement... Thank god for the Trads to keep those with out humility from running our lives.
The traditions are of no use to us unless we
understand them and fully obey them: the letter and
the spirit. I believe this is a good example of "Half
measures avail us nothing" and Bill's saying that
sometimes the temporary seeming good can be the
deadly enemy of the permanent best. I'll bet
there is a traditions meeting somewhere which meets
without paying an adequate rent. ANONYMOUS
The person just asked an innocent question. If you were the face of AA, I'd run in the opposite direction!
And the opposite direction would be...
The person asks a simple question, gets rudely blasted by people in AA. What is that? Is this what you want to present to people asking for your help?
From long experience, I know that many will say "Well, it's just that good ol' AA tough love." I'm here to say that it's not good, it's not AA, it's certainly not love. It's egos on parade.
If you're so proud of your F2F sponsors, you might want to actually use them, F2F; discuss what could be seen as remarkably judgmental attitudes, perhaps after prayer, and some writing. No, no; not after thinking -- after prayer, then writing.
It's often illuminating.
And in reply he got the truth straight between the eyes,
AA is being destroyed by intellectual and waffle merchants
no kidding...I live in a small town and had a VERY high profile job and it's sometimes easier to go on-line but the face to face is much more effective as far as a sponsor goes. They see your emotions, fears, and anything else that's going on in your mind..Go out of your area if it's easier for your first few meetings.
As part of a class i took for work, i had to participate in a chat room with other classmates for credit in the class. That was my first time communicating online with something other than email. So recently I found out about I-Say and have begun to participate.
I have to admit, that after reading some older posts, that I like to post a question or statement and read the responses(ego!). I still get a good laugh at my self-centered nature.
That being said, I would like a link or just a post from the grapevine of the numbers of AA members who may log on and read comments on I-say but might not post. I don't now if its 100 log on or 1,000,000.
So if anyone has those #'s or could steer my in the right direction, it would be greatly appreciated!