Experience with AA Online?
I was sober for A few years when I became strong enough to leave my abusive husband. I was at a domestic violence shelter and I was in a city far from where my husband lived.I have been trying to stay sober since my early 20's and I knew many AA people from all over. The shelter allowed me to go to meetings so I Would go to two a day. One morning I saw someone I knew from distant meetings in the past. I guess he could not wait to run out and inform my ex of my whereabouts. Never in a million years would I think this guy would tell my ex. That night I was sitting there and in walked my ex. I jumped and ran and ran some more. If I had not been sober and working out I would be dead now! I did not trust AA meetings at that time. Who could? I did many online AA meetings even while being stalked for 3 years. I could not call my old sponsor and the abused person's unit wanted me sever ties with people who knew my ex from the rooms as I started my new life in a different city.
I got through it all by online AA for awhile and then when things calmed down and they found my ex and locked him up I began going to F2F meetings. After 14 years of content sobriety I hurt my back so bad I had to have 2 major surgeies, pain drove me over the edge. I drank about 5 days and ended up in ICU for 10 days with pancreatitis and a host of ailments that together could've killed me. I was so ashamed of myself I was doing online meetings and after about a week I decided to just walk into the rooms. I am so glad online meetings were there for me until I could get back to the rooms. That relapse taught me alot and today my sobriety is stronger than ever. I work extra hard because I am scared, got a good sponsor and I am all about AA sometimes online, but mostly daily for F2F. Thank God for AA!
Hi Juanita, I', pat and I'm 56 until feb 3. My husband has been stalking me for at least 25 years and has finally bought a house two blocks from mine. He is to smart to do
any thing anymore that could put him in jail. I look at him
as someone who would benifit from this program even though
he isn't an alcoholic. He has tried to kill me twice in the
past. God has been a big part of my recovery and I just have to know that he has a plan for me. Helping myself is part of my plan. I keep a pepper spray on my bed stand and I have a little one in my purce. These are sick men and unless the reach out for help there isn't alot we can do about it. You will be in my prayers and you are already in
Gods hands. Do though find a way to protect not only yourself but you sobriety. Pat
Hi Im Juanita 60 year old here Im an alcoholic..23 years. Have not had
a drink since April 1 2013. One day at a time. Its not a easy road
but its either get sober or die a slow death. The latter is no fun as I have
seen what chirrosis of the liver can do to people. It is a slow and painful
death. Its all in how you want to live your life
Hi,Im ajitpal 60 years old and an alcoholic from 35 years and Im sober from 12 years while at last 5 drinking years I consumed 4 litres of alcohol per day . But I have not faced any liver problem or any other problem.What is it? It is all on allmigty.If only prayer to Higher Power can make us sober then He can give us 'life' also to live sober.
I hope you have a sponsor Juanita...go to meetings and are going through the 12 steps with your sponsor..I am 57 years old and have had this disease all my life ... i was a binger and then got sober at 34 years old and had a life beyond my wildest dreams sober for 12 years...picked up a beer and went to hell on earth...lost and alone and now have 6 months of sobriety.. i still get lonely but realize that it is better to be alone sober rather than drunk and the truth is i am never alone as I have a higher power that helps me deal with my thoughts and feelings and I have a peace that I have never had before thanks to Alcoholics Anonoymous and the 12 steps and the people that I have in my life today...God Bless You can do it Juanita...
I usually go to f2f meetings. But I checked out online and they have the right idea, if it helps one person it is worth it. My only problem is the hellos and goodbyes. After about 30 of each it gets old, especially during an official meeting someone shares and then there are 45 thank you's. They should make it a policy to keep those numbers down and then he said Thank you (kidding).
Be careful take gentle steps if your and old timer I tried
going to meetings on line
My name is Joe and I am an alcoholic. That is a statement,
and part of the first step. This custom was never meant
to be a greeting or salutation. This Hi Joe!, and Thanks
for sharing Joe, by the group is chanting. Chanting is a
cult or religious ritual and has no place in AA. The
chanter seems to be saying "look at me, I'm here, too".
But chanting is an automatic response by the group,
and will never stop without a lot of personal work. We
chant without understanding how much it harms A.A. as
a whole. Our public image is vital to our growth and
Chanting started in the Northeast around 1980. One
group member began responding Hi (name) to every member
during the meeting. Within eight years this ritual had
spread through the Northeast.
Whether f2f or at regular meetings, this ritual has
to be stopped. And it can be stopped, but not without
a lot of effort and courage. Future generations of
suffering alcoholics are depending on us. ANONYMOUS
So what does your reply have anything to do with AA online??? Get off your soap box. Your rants sound like a broken record from a resentful AA member.
jefft1962:: I am trying to reach as many AA members,
past an present, as I possibly can. Alcoholics are
suffering and dying while we "CHURN", spinning our
wheels, stagnant. We have a viable solution for those
suffering, but we have all but closed the door in
the faces of those who need it most. Dogma and Distortion
have crept into our fellowship over the past three
decades. Many of my resentments are directed at myself.
I participated in many of our blunders. I saw them as
they were taking place, but remained silent because of
fear of controversy. Stop reading HIW. Stop all chanting.
Lose today's concept of sponsorship. Real sponsorship
will reappear. Pay attention to our Tradition of self-
support. Stop the "hold hands and pray" closing. Remove
the 24 hr. book from AA. rooms. Invite humility back into our fellowship. Study our history books
AACA and LOTH. and Bills other writings and warnings.
I'm not quite understanding your chant explanation. Could
you please clarify that for me ? Thanks
An AA friend said she was watching television with her
non alcoholic husband. A facsimile of an AA meeting was
portrayed. An "AA member" made the statement: My name
is Joe and I am an alcoholic". When the group responded with the Hi Joe! chant, my AA friend said that
her husband laughed out loud, and asked sarcastically,
" Is this the AA that you are going to?"
"My name is Joe and I am an alcoholic" is a statement,
part of the first step. It never was meant to be a
greeting or salutation.
My first ten years in Alcoholics Anonymous were reverent with no chanting at all. (a chant is an automatic response by the group). Hundreds of thousands of lives were saved
in that decade, before dogma and distortion took over.
There was absolutely no chanting, no reading of HIW.
aloud at meetings, no "hold hands and pray " closing.
The AA meeting is more important than any sporting
event. Save your yelling for the stadium.
Chanting someone's name is automatic in most of
today's AA meetings. We just don't know (or even care)
how stupid this sounds to the general public and to
new members. It has to stop. It can be stopped, but not
without a lot of hard unpleasant work. Are you ready to
get your hands dirty? I have found that a lot of members
agree that chanting sounds stupid. But they remain silent. In my locale the
chanting has diminished considerably. Those who insist
seem to be saying "Look at ME, I'm here, too. They demand
to be seen and heard. ANONYMOUS Do a search of "Hi Bob".
Relating to Bob Newhart. I found it interesting.
He's just being paranoid. Saying "Hi x" in unison isn't any more cultish than group cheers at a sporting event (i.e., not at all).
I really do not consider myself to be paranoid. I do not
have any hostile intentions, But I do have a mission: to
restore Alcoholics Anonymous to an acceptable degree of
effectiveness. It can and will be done. Bill W. left us
every detail needed.
Chanting at AA meetings has harmed our public image. I
remember the first time someone behind me at an AA meeting
responded Hi Joe! when I stated "My name is Joe and I am
an alcoholic." The meetings had always been quiet and
reverent. I had been sober about ten years at the time.
At first I was startled, but became angry when I realized
that he was going to respond as each member shared. I
was too fearful to voice my concerns.
Chanting is a cult ritual and is practiced by some
religions. It has no place in AA.
Save your chanting for sporting events. Comparing an
AA meeting to a sporting event puzzles me. Please save
your chanting, yelling, hooting, and hollering for
the stadium. ANONYMOUS
The Big Book does mention Modem to Modem. Not all are able to attend F2F and if I can help online, I will. I am responsible no matter where or when someone reaches for help.
Hello my name is Catrina i am a real alcoholic after many times trying to drink normal and going to treatment centers (3) i now know for sure 100% im an alcoholic now that i know i do know i need a sponsor to work the steps, and help guide me through the program. If you can help id appreciate it thank you. online is fine for me. been sober for 11 days now.
I'm sober now four years, and I began my sober journey via the Internet so I owe a lot to online AA groups. As our Big Book says: Face to face or modem to modem. Not everyone is blessed to have local meetings and I am responsible for the hand and that includes a cyber hand.
I remember encouraging a lady online after she had just relapsed years ago, by sending her a subscription to the Grapevine. I didn't know her other than our brief conversations online, she lived somewhere in Arizonia, and she felt bad as again being a newcomer, the best encouragement I could offer was to be kind and send a year subscription to the Grapevine, I hope it helped her stay sober one day at a time, it has helped me throughout my days sober. today is 9,539 and Thank God for direction that day of gift subscription.
Hello. Anyone here?
I will always be here
Still there ?
I have been though the AA gauntlet. The process is a good and an honest one. I am just one of those who simply gives in to the urge to have a drink too quickly. I just came off a solid month of not drinking; working out semi regularly, eating well, not spending money foolishly. Then bang! Here I am, 4-18-13 feeling bad because last night and the night before I went out--to my sneak joints--and dropped over 400.00 on "irresponsible thrills" and beer. Today I am sitting here at 11:30AM deciding if I should cancel a tutoring session because of my self disgust. I need to stop this!.
$400. is nothing, you should be thankful you or someone else did not get hurt!! Money comes and goes you only have one life. Change it now before your in a situation that cant be changed!!!
It seems to me that all the online AA meetings out there occur through chat and message boards. That is a great start, but it seems that you lose some of the benefits of in person meetings (eye-contact, seeing people's gestures, etc). Are there any online groups that allow for live video meetings? If not, is this something that you think people would use and find value in?
The only requirement for membership in an AA Group is the desire to stop drinking. However this desire is useless unless it is qualified as being 'willing to go to ANY lengths' as far as Sobriety is concerned. 'Membership' alone is never enough. The AA Program involves Action and more action, an ongoing process of recovery. It is a way of life. One may have a pass to a theater seat, but no performance is seen unless they actually go to the Theater and use it.
I don't know how you can say that this desire is useless.
It is the only requirement for membership. It feels to me
like you are telling me that I will never be "good enough"
unless I follow your directions. At least allow me to
enjoy the movie. ANONYMOUS
I was thinking about me possibly being an alcoholic, I am still fighting with the denial stage.."I can handle a few drinks." You know the drill...I am starting to face the so very ugly truth, that NOONE wants to face...I drink to get drunk...why?? Why am I not normal? Why cant I just have 1 or 2 drinks, like most of my friends...what is wrong with me? I looked for AA online, cause I live out in the boonies...can find nothing, just posted this...for the hell of it I guess
iam 8 days sober tday, after being in n out of the program for 20 yrs. thinking i can handle this disease on my own.., never will work, i have failed, and failed again.. i have no car and i haven't been to a mtg in 4 days, and iam fighting t urge.. i know i have to make a phone call or two, or i know i'll pick up.. like u said, u drink to get drunk? i have done that all along, but so much damage comes w it, wouldn't you say! if you seriously think and or believe you may have a drinking problem, there is the big book, through aa which is very helpful in understanding the disease.. i was reading mine tday, and what blew my mind, was.. we have an allergy to alcohol, and obsession with the mind!! i hope what ive said, helped.. at least for you to reach out to other alcoholics, and the resources that you need.
The only way for you to know it you're an alcoholic is to go through the questions...I found out that I needed help when I couldn't go a month with-out needing a drink. My husband was still actively drinking at the time. I first tried meetings, but I felt that I wasn't anything like them....lol. Sometimes you just need to find the right group of people. I don't live in the boonies did as a kid though, and I still like meetings online. My schedule doesn't give me time to join a regular sit down and come in group. If alcohol interferes with your job, family, life in general, if you think you can't have fun with-out a drink ...then yeah...you are different. I drank to get drunk to remove some very old emotional pain. When I got sober for a year.....WOW!! It was a hard process, especially for someone who doesn't drink coffee. You got online to ask questions....KEEP asking.....Welcome...Mikey
The Traditions of AA also prevent us from enforcement of them. This works no hardship for those sincerely seeking recovery from Alcoholism however. I personally was gifted with the necessary willingness to go to any lengths to Stop Drinking, and for those who aren't willing to do anything but offer excuses why they cannot attend real AA meetings -- the Internet serves them adequately, making it possible to connect with other habitual slippers to share their misery with. 'Co-miserating' seems to be the common thread in the online formats; 'my dog's grandmother died and I wanna use!' (USE??) I never needed , nor looked for any excuses to drink. I simply drank. Of course, one needs seek no reason to recover either.
Does anyone else seeany irony of this person’s monitoring online meetings and providing an assesment of what’s wrong online, ONLINE?
I thought i would look for a chat room for suport when I
couldn't or didn't want to go to a meeting. I have a very solid program and a very solid spiritualiy. This is my first time on a chat site. I have to agree with Anonymous.
If you don't like what is being said you have the choice
to listen or not. Perhaps you would benifit from step 12.
We are here to help the people that reach out for help. Not hinder them. You will be in my prayer also
I do see the irony....
Keep getting drunk and you'll see all the ironies in the world.
I just took a look at this the first time and read your hateful post
it says in the forward of the 4th edition big book about on line AA
I was glad to see this
I am a member of an on line women's e mail group for several years
we are not a bunch of slippers that can n ot find our rear ends
I have been sober 15 years and get to have friends from all over the country and around the world
we are every active in 12th step work
if I wewr a new comer and read your ramblings I would run out the door
and if you are so down on on line why the heck are you yammering all of your pitiful drible on line??
I have a suggestion
work the steps especially on your defects they are bleeding all over the place!!
I have a ftf home group and also attend various meetings at other locations besides my home group. I do ftf meetings at least 3 times a week but would also be very interested in joining a ladies online group.
Good Morning Lance A. from Missouri. I do hope you made it through your tough day. This morning I was reading your post. Your not alone my friend. I do remember days just like that and it can be tough. It does sounds like you have good intention staying sober.............I went two years dry with no serenity or peace of mind "the thought to drink was continuously on my mind", I didn't follow the suggestion and had the same excuse about getting a sponsor...."I havent found the right one" or " I'm not calling this guy he dosent know me or how I'm feeling"...... eventually I went back to my old ways. Telling myself I was better and I didnt need this program anymore and Guess what happen Lance A.??? That monster you know came back and it really got bad, worse than before.............I had to findly through in the towel give it to my Higher Power and took the suggestion and followed through with the steps. I didn't want to, you know how we are!!! But I was so desperate and tired of the monster on my back!!!I finaly became willing to do what ever it took to change. The obsession to drink was removed from my crazy thinking after so many years. It truly is a blessing and I'm so thankful today!!! Listen to friend who cares about you. Get a sponsor and work those steps.
Wishing you the best.
A member of AA
I have been sober for almost a year, March 6th is my birthday. Today has been the toughest day for me since I went into recovery last year. I drove by my old club today three times, just itching to go in and have a drink. I kept saying the serenity prayer and remembering what my bottom was like and it kept the monster on my back asleep for one more day. I am a dry drunk and do not have a sponsor, however I do try to attend meetings, between work, school, my wife and kids, and church. I know I need to get a sponsor, but I just have not found that right person yet. After today, I am going to look a lot harder. I know my Higher Power is walking with me, but I also know its up to me to listen to him! God Bless all of You.
Lance A an alcoholic from Missouri.
I've been sober a number of years and I re live the 1St step by listening to new comers. Try a temporarily sponsor for 30 days. Some meetings offer a temp sponsor. Go to any meeting early and ask the chair person about picking you a temp sponsor. That way if it doesn't work out no ones feelings are hurt. I am a plumber and had to apprentice under a licence plumber for four years otherwise I would be only good for digging holes as a labourer.
I wish you a sober life
Hughie London Ontario
Lance, you are an inspiration to me....
I was a dry drunk, until I got married to a wonderful man who was as alcoholic.
Before I attained full sobriety I still had what I call stinky thoughts....One drink won't hurt....I can handle this. Then, I would hear this message....Don't get too lonely, hungry, thirsty or tired. Call them what you will...the basic message was snap out of it!! I don't want to go through the physical pain of addiction again. Nor do I need the mental stress of it either. I stopped drinking in 1978...still have days that are a struggle...go figure....never have slipped. I do have a great support system now than when I was younger. Maybe it gets a bit easier as we get older not sure. I don't have a sponsor. I am so independent and it is hard for me to ask for help. I am a widow since 2004. My beloved died of heart failure.....he had been sober since 1989. We both learned how to have a good time sober. I attend church regularly and have a wonderful family that still includes me in their lives. So I am blessed but so are you!! Mikey A. from Colorado
Anon...I know you posted 2/15 so sorry for a late response. I just wanted to say, 'I hear you!" & you did the right thing by venting a tad on here.Hoping this finds you sober.
I'm a 15 1/2 mth recovering busy alcoholic w/a 17 & 18 yr old at college, 2 pets etc.....(Ha..busy like no one else...got to get that one out of my head).
Anyway...in tough times...I have gotten through by knowing that I had to DO something...go walk the dog to calm down, read in my car any AA/Grapevine materials, go to a meeting, call someone anything but drink. So..
I hope you found a sponsor. I waited a long time & texted 2 at same time & got one. Funny thing is one was a sponser for one. We are working the Steps SLOWLY, rather than quickly & I always, always remember my lowest in tough times which is when my daughter moved out of the house to her dad's at 16. It crushed me, but woke me up.
We are the best of friends now & her father & I are living back together again after 7 1/2 yrs of separation. So, hang in..is amazing what can happen even on tough days!
Your post strikes a chord with many of us. Take a look at the top of p 64 including “Our liquor was but a symptom.” We are the same people with the same faulty thinking, attitudes and problem solving skills generating the same pain in ourselves except without the anesthetic to turn the pain off. No wonder we are miserable.
“Trying” to do something new requires direction. Perhaps making yourself noticed as someone in need of a sponsor would be helpful. Appearing as someone who deserves a good sponsor would be infinitely helpful. Everybody who walks in the door has a boatload of problems. A few have a boatload of problems and are willing to take some action to get rid of them. Potential sponsors notice them because they ask good questions; they have a 12 X 12 and a Big
Book and are reading them and asking questions about them in the meeting, in the “meeting before the meeting” and the “meeting after the meeting”. Throw in asking about the pamphlet “Q and A about Sponsorship” and you’ve painted a picture of yourself as someone who may be sponsor-able.
Also sober in Missouri
I can identify with how you are feeling as I too have been overwhelmed by that obsession to drink especially early in sobriety.
I have been sober since March 1990 and don't have those real white knuckle days of just hanging on anymore. Thank God as I understand Him.
One observation from your story...you are indeed a very busy man. Try not to ever forget 1st things first, and that is, your sobriety comes first. If you don't make your sobriety the most important thing in your life you are heading for a SLIP (sobriety losing its priority).
When an alcoholic picks up again all those other things important in our lives seem to disappear; wife, kids, job, school, health, happiness, etc.
When I start getting restless, irritable,discontent and overwhelmed because I'm spending too much time on other activities I know what I have to. I need to spend more time working on staying sober; like more meetings,praying, meditating, personal inventory, reading AA literature, talking to my sponsor, working the steps, helping other alcoholics,doing service work, etc. I'm sure you know the rest of the story if I don't.
In short doing whatever I need to do (going to any length)to maintain my spiritual condition through this program of action. When I do, I get another daily reprieve and my life is so much better.
Wish you another 24 hours of contented sobriety and thanks for sharing.
When I finally hit bottom and lost everything, I had to move in with my mother(my biggest trigger), she was ill, I was ill, I was a nurse so it seemed logical to do. As I packed up my house, weeping and mourning everything I had lost, I finally realized I had two choices. Drink until I died or get sober. I decided to get sober and I sought online AA groups since leaving my mother alone, was not an option. I found several groups, in Yahoo groups and other places. These groups saved my life. I could not get out to meetings but I found that joining these groups kept AA in my life, all day long. I got emails from group members, I got meetings online. I even found a group that you could post to live. It was not all sunshine and sobriety, but it was real. I will admit, there is a little more room for drama, when the forum is text on a screen, but sometimes drama is part of face to face groups too. I quit a group that got really weird and off program. I took over a group that was floundering. I participated in women's only groups and groups for everyone. The minute I was able to go to face to face meetings I did but I am so grateful for the online groups.
What Have you ever heard said to a youngster in AA?
The other day I heard a bleeding deacon say to a 16 yr old at a meeting " Awwww i have spilled more booze than you have ever seen! This completely made my blood boil, so i stepped back. paused, quick serenity prayer!
Then Walked right between them and asked if I could speak to the youngster outside. thank goodness he said yes. I spent the next few minutes explaining that there are still sick people in AA even tho they haven't drank in many a year doesn't mean that there a working the program of AA, and this gentleman was obviously work his program and not ours! I could see a that the words made him feel a bit more at ease. Then laughing inside i quoted my sponsor "take what you can use and leave the frigin rest there" That sentence change my entire recovery!!
Everone needs someone or somthing to complain to !!!!
Makes no difference where ya at or what you do if you come to give rather than get.
AA Online is the name of a chat site which has unfortunately fooled a lot of newcomers into believing they are a real AA group, and operate within AA Traditions. Sadly, this form of subterfuge helps no one. People who are unable or unwilling to seek a real walk-in AA meeting frequent the place, spewing their sick ideas about 'recovery' endlessly. The place appears to be managed by Alanon members who alternately scold, then coddle ((((((((((hugs))))))))) (gag!) Posting readings from Hazelden and other Bible-based literature, then responding sometimes with outright hostility toward the Big Book shows their deeper animosity toward Alcoholics Anonymous in general. "Step Chat" has displayed not less than a 'reign of terror' against anyone who might suggest that someone find an AA Group in the town they live in. There is no 'online recovery'
this is the first time ive ever seen a guru try try to take over the computer i reached out for a little support and you throw that in my face ? try reading your big book again
Before bashing online AA too much, a person might do a little math exercise. Subtract two from the number of legs you have. Subtract two from the number of ears you have. Now write down the number zero for the number of vehicles you can use to get to meetings. Write down zero if your walker will get you around your home for your basic needs but your knees start screaming for narcotics if you go much farther. Sure, there’s going to be a ride to some handicapped accessible, or deaf signed meeting somewhere sometime. Write down the number of times you have provided any of these services in the last month. Now start with one and see quickly you can get to twelve. I bet really smart, really kind people with tons of experience will be more than happy to help you – on line.
What a great reply to that AA member. Not all of us can get to meetings as we did when we were younger. Some of us find a wealth of information here that would take us maybe a couple of months to get at those meetings. Only people who have walked our walks can complain about online AA. TY