From the Magazine

Topic: Humor
Really drunk I got home from the pub last night and my wife said, “I can’t believe how intoxicated you are.”  “I’m not drunk,” I said, denying it.  “Yes, you are.”  “No, I’m not.”...
Ready to confess? An alcoholic goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the church. There’s a fully equipped bar with Irish stout on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of...
 My favorite topic Two narcissistic AAs had the following conversation as they walked into their meeting room: 1st AA: “I didn’t appreciate what you said about me in yesterday’s meeting when you...
What’s the problem? The new sponsee was having a hard time staying sober. “You’d drink, too, if you had my problems,” he said to his new sponsor. Having heard this multiple times, the sponsor decided...
Oldies but goodies Judge: “You’re a menace to other drivers, and pedestrians, too! I’m going to revoke your license.” Defendant: “Your Honor, you can’t. My living depends on this!” Judge: “So does...
An Irish truth An Irishman, sitting in a pub with his wife, says, “I love you.” She asks, “Is that you or the beer talking?” He replies, “It’s me, talking to the beer.” —Anonymous Time’s up! The...
I can’t believe I ate the whole thing Two ferocious lions are roaming the African Savannah. When they chance upon a loud, obnoxious drunk, they immediately devour the startled fellow. One lion...
On the wall During a recent discussion about anonymity and the Internet this comment was made: “I hope they never change Step Five to read: ‘Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to social networks the...
SPF 80 proof If you’ve ever woken up with a sunburn on the roof of your mouth … you might be an alcoholic! —John W., Baton Rouge, La. Says who? I’m not in denial, I’m just very selective about the...
Dumb and dumber Two drunks were bragging about how smart they were when one said, “I just took another IQ test.”  His friend asked, “Why did you take another test?” “Oh,” he replied, “the first...

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