My Parking Spot God

I never really needed hope in my life before the end of my drinking, because I had other things, like "expectations" and "entitlement." I just knew that everything was going to go my way, because I had always manipulated everything and everyone around me until I got exactly what I wanted. When alcohol finally beat me down and I was done, that was when I started needing hope. For the first time in my life, I couldn't rely on manipulation and skating by on my own petty charms and talents—I was powerless. I had always been powerless, but now I actually knew it.