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My Parking Spot God

She learned that she was going to need God's help for more than just the little stuff

"The blessing is that it didn't take me long to pull out my Parking Spot God—the last time he would serve me in that capacity."

I never really needed hope in my life before the end of my drinking, because I had other things, like "expectations" and "entitlement." I just knew that everything was going to go my way, because I had always manipulated everything and everyone around me until I got exactly what I wanted. When alcohol finally beat me down and I was done, that was when I started needing hope. For the first time in my life, I couldn't rely on manipulation and skating by on my own petty charms and talents—I was powerless. I had always been powerless, but now I actually knew it.

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