Grapevine Online Exclusive

Published October 2011.

Web Exclusive: On the Rat Wheel

Obsessive thinking nearly led her to a drink until she turned it over to a Higher Power

"Around and around the obsession went in the same direction it had always gone, heading straight for a drink.

I came into AA when I was 29 years old. Some may say that was young but at the time I was worn out. I started drinking at 10 years old and I started hiding my alcoholism from myself and others at the age of 18. So, for 11 years I worked hard to make sure that I didn't appear to be the alcoholic that I had been born to be. The last four years of my drinking I lived alone which allowed me to drink every night without worrying that anyone might suspect I was an alcoholic. Even though there was no one around to hide my drinking from I still worked hard to hide it from myself as well as from...

-- Molly H.

Fresno, California

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