From the October 2011 magazine.

The Road to Nowhere

Early in sobriety, she realized that unless she worked the program, she would find herself on the road to relapse

"My stubborn reliance on self was clearing a pathway that I could follow straight to my relapse."

I am a "littletimer," or perhaps more accurately, a "hardlyanytimeatall" timer. At 52 years of age, I've managed to pack only three good months of sobriety under my belt. That equals about one good month of sobriety for every decade of my drinking. Yikes! I will need to live a very long time for the equation to shift back in the other direction.

I did stop drinking between January 2002 and early 2006, but I wasn't sober in the AA sense. Until recently, I hadn't realized there was a difference between simply not drinking and true sobriety.

-- Jane S.

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