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Published November 2011.

Web Exclusive: Tomorrow Never Comes

She made and broke the same daily resolution to stop drinking for years until she came into AA

Realizing that I was an alcoholic was not difficult, admitting it was another matter. I knew that my drinking was not like most of my friends. Before heading into the theater one night my friend announced she was going to leave her drink in the coat room and asked what I had done with mine. "I left it on the table" I quickly replied, too embarrassed to tell her I had chugged it. Later in the evening, I secretly drank shots of whisky when the wine with dinner wasn't enough.

Every night, I made my to-do list for the next day. It always included: lose 5 pounds, read more, quit drinking, call my mother. The next morning I would head to the gym, sweat the alcohol out of my system, and by late afternoon, I would feel good enough to drink again. Later before passing out, I would write in my journal the same resolutions. I had a secret code for what I drank each day. A good day was only 2 S (2 shots) and 3 W (3 glasses of wine).

-- Deb L.

Sarasota, Florida

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