Magazine

From the March 2012 magazine.

March 2012: I Still Sit up Front, I Still Raise my Hand

After 20 years, this alcoholic does not have all the answers

In January of 1992 when I sat in a rehab in the mountains of Pennsylvania, I never conceived that my life would turn out the way it has today. I was 19 at the time and actually celebrated my 20th birthday there. I remember that the Super Bowl was on TV that day and the counselors made us turn the TV off during the commercials for fear that all the beer commercials would make us thirsty (they were probably right). My life was clearly in shambles. I had failed out of school, I was unemployed, my family and girlfriend were barely speaking to me. I had numerous brushes with the law, and most of all, I saw no reason to go on living, especially now that they told me I couldn’t drink. I sat in that rehab, hopeless.

I started to go to AA meetings again in rehab. I had been in and out of the rooms for about two years, and I started to listen for the first time in my life. I was sure that this program would not work for me. I saw it work for others, but I doubted it could work for me.

-- G.G.

Huntington, New York

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