Magazine

From the March 2012 magazine.

Self-Afflicted

Through working the Steps, she was relieved of her biggest problem

Before I had a home group, a sponsor, a service position, a relationship with God I attempted to have a go at the big book of "Alcoholics Anonymous" on my own. The immediate identification that I found came from Bill's story where he felt that "he arrived" with the lifestyle that alcohol initially gave him. It was the comfort and ease that washed over me when liquor sank in. No problems, no worries—I felt I was more in the moment than ever before.

Nothing had ever given me that sensation—absolute fulfillment. People wanted to know what I was going to be doing, where I was going and wanted to join. I loved the attention it provided me. On the other hand, without it, I felt empty, worthless and dead inside. About a month before I went to my first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, I sat in bed after drinking several bottles of wine and began searching for the relief to subside once more, only to find nothing.

-- Daniela P.

Buffalo, New York

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