A New Kind of Love
In sobriety, she learned how to love herself and others
I'm sitting at the base of Greylock Mountain, in Atlanta, Idaho. It's very quiet and I have the gift of this opportunity to contemplate. Soon, I will have my three-year sobriety birthday. It doesn't sound like long, but it's not been easy for me.
I am one who has had to work at it. It took lots of changes, transformations, experiences to get here. It's been worth it, though. My heart is beating a sober rythm. I feel so clear and am filled with gratitude. I am experiencing a love I have never known and it truly is grace.
I've done a lot of things in my drinking days that I'm not proud of. Even sitting here, in Atlanta, I have memories of these woods—falling on the way back to the cabin, of conversations in the bar that are embarrasing to remember, of all that beer breath I woke up with.
I used to drive up here while drinking. It's a miracle that I am not in prison for all the drunk driving I did. I can see that now. Back then, I couldn't see a thing except how to get drunk and stay drunk, and sober up enough just to work, until I couldn't even do that anymore.
Walking into these rooms of AA when I was lost, blind, and when I was at the end, was the best thing I ever did for me.
As I sit here in the mountains, away from the city, away from meetings, away from fellowship, I notice that this love, this peace and serenity I feel is due to finally learning how to care for myself. I am able to sit still and breathe mountain air. I can have a clear, coherent conversation with my friend. I can live and function on a daily basis. I can do all these things without a beer by my side.
Most importantly, I learned how to love. This love is not the slurry, blurry, mushy, crazy, on a buzz, calling people at two in the morning love. This is a love that comes from a place of peace and serenity inside. It is not clouded by alcohol. It is inner truth. It is clear. It is still. It is silence. It is a love I have never known, and I'm so excited for more! I am beginning to experience some happiness.
My heart is full and resonates like a drum to the rhythm of a sober walk. It's because of the program of AA that I am here. For this, I continue to buy a ticket for a seat in this place! What a great ride!
—Brenda M., Boise, Idaho
Being of Service
He learned how to give of himself in AA and carried that into his everyday life
Rowing Up the River
After he started feeling worse sober, he realized that he needed to do things differently
When he got sober, he understood the value of certain experiences
The Things That Matter
Alcohol no longer is the most important thing in his life
New to AA? Find sober support
Like a Duckling
Get a dose of Higher Power here
A River Runs Through It
- Twelve Steps
AA's blueprint for sobriety
Forgiving my Brother
- Personal Stories
AA's tales of recovery
Sofa Sweet Sofa
They've experienced it all ... sober
What's My Secret?
Giving it away to keep it
No Roads to Bethel