Grapevine Web Exclusive

Published April 2012.

The Heartbeat of AA

Asking for help and helping others was her lifeline in the program

By the time I was five years old, I had developed a lot of survival skills that worked at the time, but over the years, one by one, they failed. My survival kit included: self-sufficiency, people pleasing, stuffing my feelings, dishonesty, adrenaline, fight, flight, and of course, alcohol and drugs. I attended my first AA meeting at the age of 17. Twenty-six years later I checked myself into treatment. In the end, I did one thing right—I asked for help, by the grace of God.

When I was finally flattened by my choices, I tried something new—I reached out to the hands of AA that I had bitten in so many ways before. Those hands caught me and carried me with prayer, kindness, truth and a large dose of unconditional love.

-- Heidi

New Hampshire

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