Magazine

From the June 2014 magazine.

Staying Afloat

Taking action and meeting her HP halfway keeps her on top of the water

I had difficulty believing in a Higher Power after losing my son Nathaniel in 1998, due to a premature birth. I held him immediately as he came out of my womb, telling him how much he was loved by me and everyone else in his family and by God. I was very grateful I had that brief time with my son alive. After he died, my belief in God turned into an empty void. I turned to drinking for the next nine years.

When I finally came back into AA, I used the group as my HP and called other members on the phone constantly. One day I was not able to reach a single soul and I had a strong urge to drink. I reluctantly said a half-hearted prayer to God. Immediately, my desire to drink was lifted. I started relying more and more on this unknown HP, but could not adopt any religion that worshipped a single deity. Still, I knew there must be something, because I saw evidence of it over and over again in my life. Over the years my concept of God has developed and grown with the help of my very wise and loving parents, sisters, brother, my sponsor Sherry and many, many others. I hope my concept will help those who are struggling to get past Step Two.

-- Anonymous

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