Lean Into It

Before I got sober, I was terrified of everything. I grew up in a small college town in Ohio, and I would often run the 50 yards from my car door to the front door of our house. In general, I would say that I drank to appease my fears, to avoid my fear of being less than others, my fear of being seen, my fear of talking to men and my fear of not being approved of by friends. When I did my first Fourth Step my list of fears was long and included everything from fear of dying to fear of gaining weight. When I was growing up, my mom used to know when I was fearful just by the look on my face: I got really quiet and pensive, with a wrinkled brow. I was often teased as being

a worrywart.