December 2012: A Day in the Park
After years of alcoholic hell, watching birds fly and flowers bloom doesn't seem so bad
There was a time when I was so powerless over my craving for alcohol that I actually put a loaded gun against my temple and pulled the trigger. When it did not go off, being the good alcoholic I am (alcoholics hate losing control over anything), I shot it again, but it hit my radiator. The indentation is there to this day to remind me of the incredible emotional pain of wanting to quit and having no control over my life.
A year or two after this incident, my doctor again told me to stop drinking because I had a fatty liver, a precursor to cirrhosis. Of course I was unable to stop....
-- Carol S.