From the January 2017 magazine. First printed in December 2016.

Back to the surface

Feelings and events may take her down, but she now has the tools to come right back up

All my life I remember having that feeling of a constant undertow in my soul. I felt it all the time. Sometimes playing music would quell it. Sometimes reading would distract me from it. Sometimes going for a bike ride or a long walk would push it down for a while. But it always came back. It felt normal to me to have that feeling in my gut. When I was about 14 years old, I discovered that when I drank, though that undertow didn’t completely disappear, I just didn’t feel it. Of course, it always came back once I sobered up. But I knew exactly how to fix that: I...

-- Crystal B.