Magazine

From the July 2013 magazine.

July 2013: The Walls Will Come Down

In trying to break through and carry the message to Jake, he was able to free himself

My drinking brought me many fears, but the worst fear of all was that someday I would get locked up in prison because of my actions in a drunken blackout. Therefore, I stayed isolated from the rest of the world in the last two years of my active alcoholic paranoia. In doing so, I had created my own prison of fear—quite a paradox.

Eventually, I found my way to AA as a result of the desperation of these accumulating fears. After about 14 months of sobriety, that desperation returned with a vengeance: I was not drinking, but that’s all. I had become my own sponsor and had done some of the Steps in my head. The results were obvious because of the conflict still inside of me. I was certainly not happy, joyous and free like some others seemed to be. But pride needed to take a backseat because I was dying inside; so I finally asked a man to be my sponsor, and he walked me through the Steps in the Big Book. A sense of well-being began to enter into my life.

-- Dave A.

Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada

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