Magazine

From the January 2011 magazine.

January 2011: Flicker of rational thought

Enough intelligence remained for him to realize his desperation

Of all the things that disappeared in my years of alcoholism, the aspect that came to haunt me most was my loss of cognitive powers—intellect, intelligence and rational thought—the very qualities that differentiate man from beast. I had always placed great store in those aspects of my life, and yet they all succumbed as I skidded downhill and became totally dependent on alcohol.

I am not at all certain how I retained sufficient mental acuity to realize and acknowledge the depths to which I eventually descended, but I do know that it was that remaining flicker of rational thought which evoked in me the most profound sense of desperation I had ever experienced. It provided me with a turning point from which I have never looked back.

-- Brian G.

Boca Raton, Florida

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