From the April 2011 magazine.

April 2011: A Unilateral Approach

When it comes to working Step Four, it’s this sponsor’s way or the freeway

"I try to be as helpful as possible without telling him what he should write down."

When my sponsees and I take Step Three, we read from the top of page 64 in the Big Book. The paragraph states: “Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us.” For us, this is the inventory step. I tell each sponsee that I have unilaterally determined “at once” to be 48 hours from taking Step Three.

I then get a yellow, legal-sized pad of paper and draw three vertical lines creating four columns and make the following headings from left to right at the top of the four columns: “Who Am I Mad At?” (the infamous resentment column), “Why?”, “How This Affects Me,” and “My Part.”

-- Billy D.

Los Gatos, California

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