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Fitting In

Alcohol helped him to have a more fluid social life until it ruined his entire life

I guess I have always had a problem fitting in. Even as a young kid, I felt different. I just didn't run on the same cord as other people. It's a strange feeling to feel you are not like the rest. You think you stand out in the crowd. I always thought if only I was like that person or that one, my life would be different. Today, it makes me sad to think of any kid going through that.

So when I found alcohol at a young age, I thought it had magical powers. It was like some invisibility cloak came over my personality and I was able to be whatever I needed to be. I had mainly older friends who thought it was cool to see someone at my age drink. It was like a joke to them. To me it was as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I could talk to people, whereas before I was so shy. I felt indestructible, bullet proof. Who knew I could be so open. But even then I drank like an alcoholic. I drank until I was sick and vomited. I don't remember that part of it. But the evidence was there.

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