From the November 2013 magazine. First printed in July 2004.

November 2013: Eyeliner, Anyone?

“The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us.” –Alcoholics Anonymous

During my first nine years of sobriety, I had learned that the grouches I liked to display didn’t get me what I wanted or needed, and I did not give in to this old behavior frequently. But the brainstorm? I valued my brainstorms and believed that that part of the Big Book surely wasn’t meant for me. How much I still had to learn.

In my ninth year of sobriety, I was fired as part of a staff reduction at work because of the sagging economy in our area. I was devastated. Anger always comes first with me, masking the feelings of rejection, abandonment, self-pity, and last, but never least—pride.

-- N.H.

Sterling, Illinois

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