Accept or Analyze?

"If you want sobriety more than anything else in life, you can get it." This simple statement repeated with the monotony of a mechanical radio commercial was and is the starting point of my happiness. The confusion which is the natural consequence of an alcoholic existence was intensified in my case by an almost uncontrollable desire to analyze every statement, reaction, and action which touched my life. I had to know. The fact that I ended up more confused made no difference. All would be simple if I could only know why I drank--why this happened to me--why the program worked. Why?