Bottoms Up!

From an Outwood, Ky., member comes the story of a young alcoholic who lived with his old maid sisters. At the end of each binge he would come home declaring that this time surely he was going to die. The sisters, having used every means possible to get him to stop drinking, finally decided that the next time he got drunk they would convince him that he really was going to die. The next time he arrived home drunk, the sisters put him to bed and called in a very religious neighbor--an elderly lady--to pray for him. When the neighbor arrived, she took one look at the drunk and cried, "Oh, Lord, help this drunken man!" The drunk stopped muttering and, gazing up at her in bewilderment, said, "Hell, lady, don't tell Him I'm drunk, tell Him I'm sick!"