Bottoms Up!

Down in Virginia there's a story of a struggle by a drunk to get to Chicago. He started out at Charlottesville, Va., via the Chesapeake & Ohio railroad; arrived safely in his stateroom. After depositing his bags, he proceeded to the club car for a small drink. A lively party was in progress and our traveler joined up. At a late hour he returned to his stateroom; made ready for bed by getting into his pajamas. A knock sounded on the door. It was one of the boys from the club car who wanted someone to have a nightcap with him. Our friend promptly left his quarters and joined his pal in another car. The nightcap developed into a drinking party and our traveler passed out. Next morning he awakened in the men's room of the other car. He was still clad in pajamas. When he made his way to what should have been his car, he discovered that he was near Cleveland and that his clothes, bags, car and all were on the way to Chicago! Having no clothes, he sat down to figure out how he could leave the train in Cleveland. Finally, a bright idea came out of his muddled head. Why not order an ambulance by telegraph? This arrangement was made and our traveler arrived at the rear entrance of a Cleveland hotel amid the clanking of an ambulance siren. We didn't learn whether he ever got to Chicago or not.