Mail Call

LIKE all "alcohollergics," I wanted to do something about my abnormal drinking. No one wants to suffer the pain, the fears, and shame that the alcoholic comes to know. But it had to be on my terms, by my regulation, because I was the only one who could know how much punishment or self-denial I could stand. And aside from the feeling that life without alcohol would be unbearable, I felt that my whole identity and integrity were at stake. If I knuckled under to the demands of some other person regarding my drinking--a wife, family member, boss, clergyman, or even a doctor--I might just as well cease to exist; all my uniqueness and human beingness would be wiped out. That would be admission that the universe did not center on my solar plexus! In other words, I could not bear to give up the idea of the supremacy of my ego.