From the Grass Roots

Why am I staying sober?. . Because a recent weekend's long stretch of hours from Friday at 5 p.m. until Monday morning at 2 a.m., when I finally got to sleep, shouldn't happen to a dog, let alone to a sober alcoholic. Why those hours of pacing the floor, wanting something, not understanding anything, complete loss of faith in the future, hopeless loneliness for companionship? All this without a fear of losing my sobriety. Fear of losing it if I left my home or lifted the phone, but knowing that I wouldn't phone for a bottle, knowing I would stay away from a bar. . .For knowing without a doubt, that my present life was worth even these hours of restless, moody, self-pitying desires.