Recognize Your Friends?

Not everyone agrees that alcoholics have in common an alcoholic personality. Some claim to know as many different kinds of drunks as there are different kinds of people. Alcoholic Opposites, even. For example:

THE THICK-SKINNED DRUNK who will go back repeatedly to joints he's been thrown out of

THE SENSITIVE DRUNK who won't go back. . .will go to a different joint to be thrown out of.

THE FUSSY DRINK who demands a fresh olive with each martini. . .then piles them all neatly in an ash tray

THE SLOPPY DRUNK who eats those olives.

THE BORE who tells you all about himself

THE EXCITING PERSONALITY who tells you all about yourself.

THE CONSCIENTIOUS DRUNK who insists on paying you with a check that comes back marked "Not Sufficient Funds"

THE IRRESPONSIBLE DRUNK who insists on paying you with a check that comes back "No Account."

Ed. note: Any "Alcoholic Opposites" our sharp-eyed correspondent missed? Send them along!