From the Grass Roots
PERHAPS I AM STILL AFRAID of fear. When I was drinking, I used to bolster up my self-esteem by thinking, "How can anybody say that I am afraid? Look at the terrible physical discomfort I put up with, the hardships I endure." Yet I would do anything at that time rather than answer the telephone or open an official-looking letter. A lot of my drinking was motivated by fear. I stayed away from home and work, for fear lest I be told I was drunk or drinking too much. I borrowed money for fear that I might not be able to get through the day or night without drink. I drank from fear that I might have to do some serious thinking about myself. . .not just maudlin thinking, which was easy enough--but thinking which would lead to facing facts. . . I was afraid of that.