It Stumps the Experts

I REMEMBER BACK WHEN I never got a phone call, never received a letter, no one ever asked for me. When I was in a tight spot I'd borrow on my watch. When I was low I'd light a cigarette. When I was lonely I'd go to the aquarium watch fish. When I was maladjusted I'd go to a head-shrinker and tell a pack of lies.