Short Snorts

Since you don't want to stop drinking, why not start a saloon in your own home? Be the only customer and you won't have to buy a license. Give your wife $55 to buy a case of whiskey. There are 240 drinks in a case. Buy all your drinks from your wife at 60 cents each, and in 12 days (when the case is gone) your wife will have $89 to put in the bank and $55 to buy another case. If you live 10 years and continue to buy all your whiskey from your wife and then die in your boots, your widow will have $27,085.47 on deposit. This will be enough for her to bring up your children, pay off the mortgage on your home, marry a decent man and forget she ever knew a bum like you.