I Believe You're an Alcoholic--

1. if you lose time out of your job because of drinking.


2. if you begin to run up bills when you had not done so before.


3. if you're feeling afraid of your drinking.


4. if you're feeling remorseful about your drinking.


5. if you can't remember what happened last night.


6. if, from having been a group drinker, you begin to drink alone.


7. if, in making out the family budget, whiskey is either a) never mentioned, or b) is free of charge.


8. if you hide whiskey.


9. if you steal whiskey.


10. if you think about whiskey when not drinking whiskey.


11. if you lie about how you drink or how much.


12. if your suspicion of other people's motives is increasing.


13. if your circle of friends is shrinking.


14. if the quality of your friends is going down.


15. if you arrange to be coughing when the cork is squeaking.


16. if your kids are afraid when they see you opening a bottle.


17. if your dog is afraid when he sees you opening a bottle.


18. if people start avoiding you.


19. if you start avoiding people.


20. if you won't a) answer the door, b) answer the phone, c) read your mail.


21. if you drink out of the neck of the bottle.


22. if you stop measuring drinks.


23. if it makes you feel safer to hear how drunk someone else got.


24. if it makes you feel safer to tell how drunk someone else got.


25. if you come to AA meetings hunting for evidence to prove you are not an alcoholic.