Twelve Ways to Be Perfectly Miserable

1. Think about yourself.


2. Talk about yourself.


3. Listen greedily to what people say about you.


4. Expect to be appreciated.


5. Be very sensitive to slights.


6. Never forgive any criticism.


7. Trust nobody but yourself.


8. Demand agreement with your own views on everything.


9. Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown them.


10. Be on the lookout for a good time for yourself.


11. Shirk your duties if possible.


12. Do as little as possible for others.