An Emotional Fall

I CAN'T afford to take that first drink. One drink leads to another. Then, just like St. Paul: "The things I should not do, I do. The things I should do, I do not." Just one drink and soon I'm drunk; mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically drunk. I become maudlin, self-willed, self-filled--a human dynamo out of control. My emotions, actions and reactions run riot. That is until utter stupor sets in. I know it all; I do it all, disregarding the welfare of everyone else. I'm a human marionette. Alcohol pulls the strings. I dance, I sing, I laugh, I cry. I wax eloquent or become moody, never knowing where the emotional wheel will stop. It all depends on my higher power, alcohol. Then AA comes along and hamstrings "filthy liquor" and I rejoin the human race--almost.