Higher Powers and Slimmer Figures

I MOST certainly believed in a higher power from the beginning. My higher power was called will power. I figured will power could get me everything, and I wore it like a yellow ribbon, proudly. I carefully nourished my stubborn will power in every trifling situation. For example, as a child I suffered from chronic sore throat, but I steadfastly refused to open my mouth so the doctor could swab it. Later in life I reversed this 'closed-mouth' policy, and refused to shut my mouth. As a result I found both of my feet in my mouth most of the time. With one foot in your mouth you still have some dignity or at least a leg to stand on. With both feet in your mouth you fall flat on your error. As my mouth always opened automatically when a bottle was passed before it, when my feet weren't in my mouth the bottle was and vice versa.