Kalamity in a Kansas Kitchen

I KNEW I was powerless over alcohol. I had tried numerous times to stop drinking and had even consulted a reputable physician, but to no avail. My family and friends finally convinced me that what I needed was AA. Since I had tried everything else, I agreed, but after several unsuccessful weeks in AA I proceeded to go on a bender which lasted five days. I remember practically nothing about it, not even locking the doors and windows and turning on all the gas burners of the kitchen stove. It almost proved to be a "Kalamity in a Kansas Kitchen."