Pull 'Em All Out!

WILL drinking spoil Joe Boozer's teeth? Among us dentists there are two schools of thought on the subject. Group A reasons thus: Sugar causes tooth cavities; alcohol is a form of sugar, therefore alcohol rots the teeth. Group B pooh-poohs this theory and puts forward their own: germs in the mouth help in the formation of cavities; alcohol is a well known antiseptic that kills germs. So (for a specific example) if an ice-cold martini is poured into the mouth, several things happen. The germs suffer a severe chill. In this weakened condition vast numbers of them are struck dead by the lethal action of the alcohol. Those that don't die become so stoned from the liquor that they go about in a daze, forgetting all about digging holes in the enamel. As a matter of fact, they can't even find it. Thus, reasons Group B, alcohol is beneficial to the teeth.