Once Over Lightly

THERE was a mean old man in England who lived to be a hundred. On the day of his centennial, a newspaper reporter interviewed him. He knew about the old man's cantankerous nature, so he asked if there was anything that gave him pleasure. "Yes," the oldster replied. "There's a little pub in London that serves a very excellent hot punch. I like to go in there on a cold rainy day and sit at a table by the front window with a bowl of that hot punch, and look out and watch it rain on all those damn people!"