Once Over Lightly

SPEAKING of highways and driving: The new British drinking-and-driving laws have apparently reduced accidents, but they also have brought out some fascinating excuses for failing to pass the test. One Mr. Jones said that the test was unfair because it was designed for people of average size. He was below average and therefore had less blood, making the percentage of booze in his blood higher. Mr. Jones's occupation? He's a circus midget and was nailed in London, as was Mr. Pat O'Reilly, who claimed that his breath turned the crystals green because he was Irish.