Once Over Lightly

HOMECOMING for a partaker of the fruit of the vine is always eventful. One poor guy fell on his face trying to get up the front steps, and the rather rapid reddening of his shirt front told him that he ought to patch up his face. With great stealth, he tiptoed into the bathroom and quietly fixed his wounds. The next morning, his wife accused him of having been smashed. He stoutly denied the charge. She retorted, "Well, if you were sober last night, how did all that adhesive tape get stuck on the bathroom mirror?"