Once Over Lightly

TRUE STORY DEPT. (After-AA Division): We don't quite believe this one, either, but it seems there was an American Legion meeting in Arizona a while back, and as the gathering gathered a full head of steam, the bartenders mopped their brows and struggled to meet the increasing demand. Eventually, all the legionnaires were sat down at tables, and the toast-master, a big, burly man in his fifties, stood up at the microphone to get the proceedings under way. With the confidence born of years of practice and six whiskey sours, he started in. But the voice that came out of the microphone was very feminine, and it said, "Hi, everybody. My name is Rose, and I'm an alcoholic."