Carrying the Message

I am fifty-two years old, and have spent most of my adult life as a drunk. I was married for twenty-eight years, and my wife and I had nine wonderful youngsters. Most of them are grown-up and married now. They don't hate me, and neither does my ex-wife, for they all understand that alcoholism is a sickness. We have been divorced now for about four years, because she could no longer tolerate my drinking. I have also lost every other thing I've ever had, including moral decency and honesty. I know (here is a way out for me, and now that I've been sober long enough to think coherently, I want it--the way to total sobriety, mentally and physically.