Once Over Lightly

QUICK-THINKING-CHAMP-OF-THE-MONTH DEPT.: It Seems that one of our members-to-be went out for a pack of cigarettes one night. Two days later, he woke up in a strange room. He peered out the window, discovered it was morning, threw himself into his clothes, dashed out to the nearest phone, and called his wife. When she answered, he fairly screamed, "Don't pay the ransom, dear! I've escaped!"