Once Over Lightly

THE LIFE OF THE IMBIBER is full of misunderstandings, and that truism brings to mind a tale about a youth from a deep rural area who was making his first visit to a city. He had never taken a drink in his life, and so, when he came to an establishment advertising "Beer & Billiards," he decided to take the big step. Entering, he walked to the bar and said, "I'll have a glass of billiards, please."