Once Over Lightly

LET'S HOPE they weren't locked out when they got there, as happened in this true tale from Pete W. of Florida. The wife of a friend of his used to pace the floor until her drunken husband got home at night. As soon as she heard him arriving, she would fly up the stairs and lock herself in their bedroom, leaving him to sleep in the guest room. One night, after this had gone on for some time, he pounded on the newel post of the staircase and shouted up his indignation, ending with "And furthermore, I am damn sick and tired of sleeping in a bed without any people in it!"