What Did I Do Last Night?

WHEN I WAS drinking, I didn't recognize a blessing when I saw one. For instance, instead of humbly accepting a blackout as an act of mercy, I was impelled by sick curiosity to call somebody and try to find out what I had done during my alcoholic memory lapse. I could not seem to let sleeping dogs lie. Like the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland, I wanted to deny something--only I didn't know what to deny. The trouble with blackouts is that nobody but another alcoholic who has had such an experience believes that you do not remember your escapades.